The Exorcist

The Exorcist ★★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Archeologist priest, veteran actor unleashes the whore of Babylon somewhere in fucking Iraq, Iran, Jordan, Pakistan Africa, Iran; who gives a shit?
The Whore travels to wherever the fuck the movie takes place and possesses a 12, 13, 10, 11 (fuck it) year old girl who beats the shit out of her mother and cusses like the motherfuckers in their 'werkin girl' kinda videos. I love that song.

'Show my whole fucking ass like a fat bitch in chaps
But I’ll be running that shit like a motherfuckin' tracker
Like I run on sense like a motherfuckin' chopper
Like a cheetah in the jungle but I’m motherfucking faster
Like a pre-teen boy in the church with a pastor'
Aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Fuck me.

We know she is possessed because she grows warts on her face and the colour of her vomit changes to green and the fact that a young girl is shown masturbating with a cross, shouting' Let Jesus fuck you' is shockingly awesome; but isn't that normal behavior for the iPappy generation?
In the end a priest, battling doubt, manages to pull out the demon from Ronald fucking Reagan and sucks him in like fucking Nicole Aniston does 'The Descent'-like deep throat and he jumps out the window not realising that the Whore does not possess dead people. So the whore goes back up, crawls up Ronald's butt and the 'fin'.

I think this is the best review I've ever written. Fucking EVER.
If you think otherwise go count your likes ;)