Favorite films

Pinned reviews

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  Vampires 1998

  ★★★½ Watched 26 Nov 2015 13

  THIS MOVIE SUCKS! DEPT.

  For generations, vampires have terrified and captivated audiences all over the world with their amoral appetites and seductive malignancy. If you're looking for more of that, though, you better go watch Dracula again, because this is ...

  JOHN CRAP'N'SLUR'S SHAMPIRES

  "I'm Jack Slow, f&!@king vampire hunter! I was hired by the Catholic Church to hunt and kill vampires, so it's only fitting that I swear like a f*&!king priest! Plus, it's cheaper than hiring screenwriters!"

  "I'm…

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  She-Devils on Wheels 1968

  ★★★ Watched 14 Jun 2014 3

  There once was a gang called the Man-Eaters /
  They rode on one- and two-seaters /
  It's easy to tell, they liked to raise hell /
  and in cutting off heads they're the leaders

Recent reviews

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  Spawn 1997

  ★★★★ Rewatched 28 Nov 2023 2

  Punishing, incoherent spectacle becomes only more so on the big screen. Martin Sheen is basically doing Hollywood Hogan. I don't know what John Leguizamo is basically doing.

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  The Maxx 1995

  ★★★★ Watched 28 Nov 2023 2

  pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don't leave

Popular reviews

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  Punch-Drunk Love 2002

  ★★★★★ Rewatched 26 Aug 2013 175

  When I was 17 or 18 I was eating lunch at this place called New York Subs (now closed) and I ordered my sandwich and sat down in front of this man (who I later learned was my parents' dentist, incidentally) who was by himself waiting on his food. When the waitress came by to bring him his order, I heard her ask him about the crossword puzzle he was doing. "Yeah, I find it's a lot easier to do…

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  Creed 2015

  ★★★★½ Watched 05 Dec 2015 15

  The truest scene in this movie is when Adonis is sitting on the stoop outside the gym and a kid on a motorbike comes up to him and goes "I heard you were Apollo Creed's son" and Adonis is like "yeah," and the kid goes "that's what's up" and does a wheelie.