• Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

    Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

    ★★★★

    “Dude, hell sucks!”

    A surprisingly creative sequel, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey almost entirely ditches the historical caricatures from the original in favor of evil robot imposters, afterlife escapades, and the funniest cinematic portrayal of Death courtesy of William Sadler. This film gets a lot of credit from me for not going the obvious rehash route while still maintaining the innocent sincerity that made Excellent Adventure well, excellent.

    I normally detest decades late comedy sequels but I’m cautiously optimistic about Face the Music as it’s the same screenwriters and at least not obviously a studio abomination.

  • Uncharted

    Uncharted

    ★★½

    “Lost, not gone. There’s a difference.”

    Generic, but not terrible. As a fan of the series I wasn’t expecting much given the history of video game adaptations so this wasn’t exactly disappointing.

    A few fun action sequences like the flying pirate ships in the third act but the connective tissue pales in comparison to the source material, which if this film has done anything it’s made me want to replay. Also, no offense to Tom Holland but the casting was kinda wack in this… would have loved to see Nathan Fillion in the role 10 years ago.

  • The Dead Zone

    The Dead Zone

    ★★★★

    “THE ICE IS GONNA BREAK!”

    For decades now, it’s been a rite of passage for up-and-coming (horror) directors to adapt a Stephen King story and Cronenberg passed this test with flying colors with the help of a strong lead performance from the great Christopher Walken.

    Personally, there’s something so cozy about The Dead Zone between the quiet snowy setting and supernatural police procedural-lite. I definitely see the influence of this film on works like Unbreakable and even NBC’s Hannibal to an extent. This is certainly a top 10 King adaptation and maybe the most underrated Cronenberg film I’ve seen thus far.

  • The Brood

    The Brood

    ★★★½

    “…the children of her rage.”

    The Brood is a clear technical progression from Shivers and Rabid but still derivative of a larger horror sub genre at least until the gloriously sickening third act. Still, there’s a bit of a suspension of disbelief issue - not the parthenogenetically spawned mutant children, that I can get behind - but rather said creatures overpowering adults with zero resistance… just punt the little fuckers!

  • Rabid

    Rabid

    ★★★

    “I’m still me! I’m still Rose!”

    Similar to Shivers, Rabid is another early Cronenberg pseudo sex-zombie affair. I’m split on the armpit clit stinger as while the close-ups are unsettling, the attacks themselves often end up looking like inert bloody hugs.

    David is clearly still coming into his own as a filmmaker here and I can’t fault ambition on a budget. Also a good performance from Marilyn Chambers that leaves you questioning how aware she is throughout the course of the film. The Dead Zone next.

  • The Fly

    The Fly

    ★★★★★

    “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”

    Don’t drink and operate heavy machinery…

    It’s been exactly a decade since watching The Fly for the first time while tripping on DXM and it’s still my favorite Cronenberg film and potentially the best piece of body horror media put to screen. I forgot just how tragic the story is, the wife nearly teared up after the final fusion and I don’t blame her.

    There’s still about half a dozen Cronenberg films I want to watch before Crimes of the Future, we’ll see if any of them can top this 80s masterpiece.

  • The Lost City

    The Lost City

    ★★½

    “Real clown shit”

    Saw this for Mother’s Day with the in-laws. I fully acknowledge that I’m not the right demographic for a film like this but it’s mildly cute and amusing, only occasionally annoying. Brad Pitt is the highlight of the film, for what little screen time he had.

    The Lost City is fine as one of those background “second screen” movies but not particularly worthy of a theatrical viewing IMO. Glad the fam had a decent time though.

  • Persona

    Persona

    ★★★★★

    “Don’t you think I understand? The hopeless dream of being.”

    I’m more liberal than most with my doling out of 5 stars but if ever a film was truly deserving it’s Persona. I wasn’t completely sold on Ingmar Bergman as The Seventh Seal was underwhelming relative to my expectations but this film delivered in a massive way.

    Psychological dread and conceptual duality coupled with intensely human moments bolstered by Bibi Andersson and Liv Ullmann’s performances create an all time great…

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    ★★★★

    “Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for a late pizza.”

    The epitome of early 90s film and a huge influence on my formative years. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is much more grounded than I remember especially compared to The Secret of the Ooze, which I equally love despite it being complete schlock. Childish complaint, but this is the Raphael show (#TeamDonatello) although it totally works for the narrative.

    Best enjoyed with some friends, drinks, and last but not least, pizza.

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    “We will see what kind of Doctor Strange you are.” 

    4 stars for Black Bolt getting his head imploded. 

    For real though, the decimation of the Illuminati by Wanda was one of the most horrific moments in comic book cinema that I can think of, reminiscent of Invincible. I’m so glad no punches were pulled for the magnificent heel turn of the Scarlet Witch, which was one of my problems with Wandavision

    My only criticisms are of Strange’s characterization and the…

  • Moon Knight

    Moon Knight

    ★★★½

    “Summon the suit!”

    While not as mind-bending or brutal as I was hoping for, Moon Knight is propelled by Oscar Isaac’s impressive dual performance of the titular hero. I admit I got a little overexcited seeing promotional material of Mr. Knight, thinking this series would take heavier inspiration from Warren Ellis’ short but incredible comic run on the character, but instead we got a far more whimsical adaptation.

    The CGI is questionable at times but ultimately serviceable - I really…

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    ★★★★

    “Norman’s on sabbatical, honey!”

    I still have some issues with the writing but No Way Home is a crowd pleasing great time and the best of the MCU Spider-Man trilogy. Interested to see where they take the character after essentially wiping the slate clean, here’s to hoping for some street level intrigue.