Blonde

Blonde ★★

A regurgitated mix of literally every single drama about stardom, slathered in a thick coating of bile. To be sure, Dominik intended the effect to be nauseating, but the resulting toilet bowl is a mess. With its Big Boy Cinematography, bloated runtime and pained monologues, it's clear the crew felt this was in league with heavy hitters like Mulholland Dr., A Star Is Born '54, and Perfect Blue. But the pretty pictures barely mask the lack of intelligence, wit, character of those classics have in spades. The movie does not stop provoking for the duration, and never once is it exciting, incisive or challenging. It puts a paper-thin lead character through the ringer to drill obvious repetitive points through amateur dialogue with no impact. The movie is seemingly so desperate to make you feel something intense, De Armas winds up shedding a tear in virtually every shot she's in. She's bad, badly miscast, and the script is even worse. This is artless exploitation cinema without the good sense to be fun. Instead it's dour and entirely overconfident in its rote and overbearing message.

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