Arachnophobia

Arachnophobia ★★★½

Picture this: Giant spiders, well over the size of a Goldendoodle. Fangs the size of your hand, capable of puncturing right through your body. An outbreak of these spiders has wiped out much of humanity, and yet a small band of survivors armed with AKs in each hand hold out in a desperate tale of survival. This is what I envisioned a late 80’s/early ’90s spider-based horror movie would look like. 

That is exactly what we didn’t get with 1990’s Arachnophobia. The icky, sticky spiders, as my 2-year-old nephew would call them, are actually just normal spiders that happen to be 10x more poisonous. Instinctually, spiders are terrifying for a majority of us, and the more grounded approach this movie takes is effective in delivering hair-raising moments. A spider crawls into a shoe, waiting for its unassuming victim to slip their foot in. At the bottom of your yummy popcorn, another spider waiting to crawl around in your mouth. Watching moments like these will send you into a frantic panic the next time you walk through a spider web. 

Arachnophobia isn’t perfect by any means, but it blends moments of creepy crawly terror with cheesy 80s comedy to create an enjoyable watching experience. A likable protagonist in Jeff Daniels paired with the always funny John Goodman and Brian McNamara gives us a crew to root for in their trials against their arachnid foes. Arachnophobia is a film that exceeded my low expectations and all but assured me that one of my fears comes with eight legs and a billion beady eyes.

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