Don’t forget to select your favorite films!
Last time I was in London I saw that Marco Pierre White’s name had been slapped on some hotel restaurant, some bullshit pasta place. At some point this guy, who was once an absolute legend in his field, had been involved with what was clearly a mediocre and unambitious cash grab catering to the dumbest people alive, and involved enough to have his name on it. He probably got paid handsomely. That’s what this feels like: Dog food, by Guy Ritchie. Couldn’t even finish it.
Better than average MCU grist with a weirdly weepy ending and Christian Bale outacting everyone by a factor of ten but why god why Natalie Portman’s performance and bottom line is it’s (like most MCU movies) still good for a Marvel movie but still mediocre for anyone who’s not a true stan. Watiti couldn’t reinvent the wheel twice. Noble attempt, though!
The first hour is nothing we haven’t seen before and the last hour is every Cameron movie almost explicitly referenced (at one point dude crushes his own human skull, uh, hello first frames of T2; also, sinking boats, narrow corridors, cyborgs with machine guns being fucked up by aliens and fucking them up back, and VTOL airships—shout out True Lies!). Second hour is Project Earth meets a video game, which I guess was cool? The 4K 1080p resolution is, uh,…