Michael Berger

Michael Berger

I used to be “with it.” But then they changed what “it” was. Now what I’m with isn’t “it” and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me.

Favorite films

  • Bulworth
  • Fight Club
  • American Psycho
  • Freddy Got Fingered

Recent activity

All
  • Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22

    ★½

  • Love, Gilda

    ★★★★

  • The Mafu Cage

    ★★★★½

  • Us

    ★★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22

    Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22

    ★½

    The subsequent 10 chapters in the R. Kelly Trapped in the Closet saga feel far worse than the previous 12. Even though they are told narratively better than the original set, I think the problem here is that Kelly really thought he had something here. And wanted to make his bizarre little catbox universe expand waaaaaaay too big for his storytelling abilities.

    It was shot TWO YEARS after the original series. But mere minutes have passed by in the storyline.…

  • Love, Gilda

    Love, Gilda

    ★★★★

    One of my biggest faults is that I fall in love really easily. I mean, like way too easily. I clearly remember being around 12 and an adult lady in a pantsuit held a door open for me at a grocery store and my heart skipped a beat as I thought "OH! THIS IS IIIIIIT! OOO I hope we have monogrammed towels." Why yes, I'm a child of divorce. Why do you ask?

    But one love that will never die,…

Popular reviews

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  • Sniper: Special Ops

    Sniper: Special Ops

    Hey, have you ever been to a gas station and they're just completely out of hotdogs? I have. And it's always a bummer. Because I always think "Man, I just missed meeting Steven Seagal."

    Let's just talk about the man, the myth, the legend Steven Seagal for a minute here. A smarmy, ugly, condescending, ego-maniacial wad of cookie dough who has made a mint for the last TWENTY EIGHT(!!!!!) years making movies your dad loves to fall asleep in an…

  • Chairman of the Board

    Chairman of the Board

    The first scene of Chairman of the Board is Carrot Top looking back fondly on when he was born. Carrot Top (shown as a several month old baby with a red wig on) is just chilling out inside his mother’s uterus as she‘s in the hospital giving birth. There are pictures of his father (a sperm cell) hanging on her uteran walls. He has a full chemistry set that he is working on inside her vagina and by magically pouring…