Eric has written 24 reviews for films rated ★★★½ .

  • A Quiet Place Part II

    A Quiet Place Part II

    ★★★½

    Movies are just television episodes now.

  • Stowaway

    Stowaway

    ★★★½

    S’good. Good movie. But I still think the same thing I thought when I saw the trailer. It would be better without the conflict. Like a Magic Mike XXL. Just 4 colleagues/friends doing their job in space and having a nice time talking about their lives and nobody has to die and I don’t have to feel stressed out at all.

    I feel like we’ve seen every variation of this kind of movie by now except for the space hangout. Maybe the next big space movie after this one can give that to me.

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I loved when Sub-Zero said “I am Bi-Han no longer. From this day forth I shall be known as Sub-Zero!” And then later when Scorpion shows up again he’s all like “Hanzo who? I’m Scorpion now.” 

    This is a very stupid movie. But they said the names and they did the moves and they said the lines and they played the song and I totally marked out.

    Also why was Kano the best part of a Mortal Kombat movie? That’s insane. I love him.
    Bring him back for the sequel. Nobody dies forever in the games.

  • Mikey

    Mikey

    ★★★½

    Mikey would never hurt anybody. This movie is slander against Mikey. Look at that innocent face. How could he possibly kill anyone?

  • Smile, Darn Ya, Smile!

    Smile, Darn Ya, Smile!

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    BOIL, DARN YA, BOIL!

  • Maggie Simpson in Playdate with Destiny

    Maggie Simpson in Playdate with Destiny

    ★★★½

    Honestly, pretty good for a modern Simpsons thing. Maybe the evil Disney overlords can do something with them.

  • Onward

    Onward

    ★★★½

    Cried for like the last 20 minutes. Beyond that, it’s just fine.

  • Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh

    Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh

    ★★★½

    That was some impressivey bad cgi. Fun movie though.

  • The Midnight Meat Train

    The Midnight Meat Train

    ★★★½

    Finished the story in Books of Blood and decided I needed to rewatch this. It’s way better than I remember.

  • La Sonnambula

    La Sonnambula

    ★★★½

    Nice try, Lisa.

  • Underwater

    Underwater

    ★★★½

    Cool monsters. Could have done without the opening and closing narration, mostly the closing. I am a big fan of Kristen Stewart’s outfit when she’s not in the suit. TJ Miller is actually likeable in this if you can get past the “it’s TJ Miller” of it all. Nice to see Vincent Cassel play a normal dude. I’m sure he’s played normal people in the past but only ever seen him play a psychopath. Could have been a secret Cloverfield movie if the Cloverfield monster was a deep-sea creature and not an alien, but originality is good I guess.

  • Crawl

    Crawl

    ★★★½

    Great punchline.