Eric has written 12 reviews for films rated ½ .

  • Dragged Across Concrete

    Dragged Across Concrete

    The right is starting to get better at filmmaking and it's making lefties nervous.

  • Americans

    Americans

    Now I know that the next time I get into an argument with my millionaire friend, I just have to remember that I’m also a millionaire, and nothing we’re yelling about is going to affect me in any way!

    This was genuinely one of the most baffling, shocking things I’ve ever seen. It horrified and delighted me.

    Sometimes I wonder if the world would be better off if somebody Shoshanna’d the academy awards.

  • Antebellum

    Antebellum

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Thank god the police were there to save the day in the end lol

  • The Hunt

    The Hunt

    I have no respect for anyone who had anything to do with this piece of shit movie. Everyone on here praising Betty Gilpin. She was in this. She’s dead to me.

  • Bombshell

    Bombshell

    I was pretty sure I was gonna hate this, and man, I’ll tell you what, I was right as hell. 

    There are so many great actors and actresses in this film and they should all be completely ashamed of themselves. Jay Roach is dead to me.

    There’s no excuse for this horrific piece of shit.

  • Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival

    Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival

    “Hi, I’m Terrence Zdunich, and I want to make a musical where all of the songs are terrible and the cast is made up of old people dressed like Hot Topic clowns.”

    “Hi, I’m Darren Lynn Bousman. I’m your man.”

  • Blair Witch

    Blair Witch

    Still bad.

  • Blair Witch

    Blair Witch

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Rewatching this to prepare for the game, which looks like it’s gonna be taking more from this movie than The Blair Witch Project.

    It’s just awful. Just inexcusably bad. The only possible reason they could have made this movie this way is if they hated the original and wanted to kill the franchise. That feels bad to say, I’m sure they tried, but how do you make a movie this bad after making actual good movies?

    It feels ridiculous to…

  • Monsters: Dark Continent

    Monsters: Dark Continent

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It’s neat how every single person in this movie is total garbage!

    It opens with a guy talking about how courageous he and his friends are for being willing to die for each other. Then they all go to a dogfight. You know, that thing that likeable and heroic characters do all the time. 
    Also, the racial slurs are super fun.
    A man (who earlier in the film, on the day before he and all his friends get deployed, the…

  • Blair Witch

    Blair Witch

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The Blair Witch Project is my favorite film.

    This movie completely misses the point of the first film in favor of being just another shitty found footage film.

    Every time one of the unbelievably unlikable characters enter a scene past the first 30 minutes, they scream very loudly. And then when they are running from the deafening tree snapping sounds, they are screaming the entire time. The audio in this movie is so fucking terrible. It's just LOUD NOISES. 95…

  • The Green Inferno

    The Green Inferno

    What a useless, stupid, racist, piece-of-shit movie.

    Even the gore was unconvincing.

  • Sharktopus

    Sharktopus

    Movies that are designed to be awful are usually more awful than movies that are unintentionally bad. And not in a fun way.

    This is the case here.

    It isn't funny.