Eric has written 39 reviews for films during 2023.

  • Doctor Who: The Star Beast

    Doctor Who: The Star Beast

    ★★★

    I am the Beep of all the Meeps.

  • The Marvels

    The Marvels

    ★★★★

    Marvel, stop making all your villains psychopaths with righteous causes. It sucks.

  • All My Friends Hate Me

    All My Friends Hate Me

    ★★★★★

    I Think You Should Leave is a lot less funny without Tim Robinson’s goofy face.

    This movie was an absolute nightmare.

  • The Killer

    The Killer

    ★★★★

    “I’m such a cool guy. I am the expert assassin. Everyone else is a stupid normie loser, but not me. I am The Kille-oops, oh shit, oh fuck”

  • When Evil Lurks

    When Evil Lurks

    ★★★½

    Really dumb characters. Y’all knew the rules. What are you doing?

    Still, pretty good movie. Not quite what it’s been hyped up to be. It’s no Martyrs, in terms of being so cruel that it makes me hate it.

    Man, I really hated Martyrs. I gotta watch it again.

  • Five Nights at Freddy's

    Five Nights at Freddy's

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It has taken me 3 days to get through this movie. I kept trying to watch it right after coming home from work and just could not stop dozing off. 

    It’s not a bad movie, but I guess it must be boring. I liked when the babysitter got chomped. I liked when they all hung out and built a fort. I liked the after credits scene.

  • V/H/S/85

    V/H/S/85

    ★★

    I miss Raatma.

  • Footloose

    Footloose

    ★★★★

    The wrong Penn died.

    Also, John Lithgow is amazing in this.

  • No One Will Save You

    No One Will Save You

    ★★★★

    At a certain point l, I stopped worrying for Brynn’s safety and started worrying for the aliens.

  • Fast X

    Fast X

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Why is everybody acting like Brian’s dead?

    Is Cipher telling Dom every single detail of this action scene?

    Why didn’t Dom just call or text his friends in Rome to tell them to call off the mission? 

    Momoa is so fun in this! Just a silly, funny guy doing reaction shots.

    That is not the maneuver I thought they were gonna pull.

    They made the villain more likable than any of the main heroes.

    LITTLE NOBODY. ADORABLE.

    GO BALL, GO!…

  • Meg 2: The Trench

    Meg 2: The Trench

    ★★★

    There was a shot in this movie that was emulating the Kong: Skull Island sandwich shot, but they borked it and it didn’t work. Other than that, great time at da movies. DJ is the mvp.

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

    ★★★★½

    God, this movie is so yucky, I love it. Bunch of Klasky Csupo-lookin freaks all over this. This is what that ugly new 3d Rugrats show should look like. 

    Ice Cube is so funny in this.

    Splinter is correct about the best Chris.