Eric has written 41 reviews for films during 2020.

  • Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors

    Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors

    ★★½

    Perfectly fine and cute.

  • Mikey

    Mikey

    ★★★½

    Mikey would never hurt anybody. This movie is slander against Mikey. Look at that innocent face. How could he possibly kill anyone?

  • Dogville

    Dogville

    ★★★★★

    So this is maybe the best ending I’ve ever seen.

  • The Polar Express

    The Polar Express

    ★½

    It’s not that the characters faces are ugly,(though they are) it’s just that they don’t express any emotion.

  • Head Count

    Head Count

    ★★

    This is not the Anansi’s Goatman Story movie I was hoping for. That one scene was cool though.

  • There Are Monsters

    There Are Monsters

    ★½

    If you’re making a found footage movie, and you decide to put a shit-ton of camera glitches, or really, any camera glitches in your found footage movie, you need to stop making a found footage movie.

    Really creepy concept, has one of the best jumpscares I’ve ever seen, it’s just absolutely ruined by the worst parts of the found footage format. And stock sound effects. And also terrible dialogue, but that’s mostly just in one hilariously bad scene near the beginning.

    Watch the short, it’s got pretty much the same jumpscare.

  • Runaway

    Runaway

    ★★★★

    I’m just gonna paste Tom Selleck’s quote from the wikipedia page for this movie, because he sounds just terribly sweet about it.

    "Jack Ramsay is not exactly a character whose name is on the tip of everybody's tongue, but Runaway was a really great popcorn movie... It was very futuristic, it had robots and all sorts of stuff, and it was a nice movie. It was a good movie that I'm very proud of. It didn't do very well, which…

  • Americans

    Americans

    Now I know that the next time I get into an argument with my millionaire friend, I just have to remember that I’m also a millionaire, and nothing we’re yelling about is going to affect me in any way!

    This was genuinely one of the most baffling, shocking things I’ve ever seen. It horrified and delighted me.

    Sometimes I wonder if the world would be better off if somebody Shoshanna’d the academy awards.

  • Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

    Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

    ★★

    It’s a weirdly sweet movie. I wish it focused more on that, and less on trying to fake a bunch of unscripted moments. None of that shit worked.

  • Antebellum

    Antebellum

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Thank god the police were there to save the day in the end lol

  • Bill & Ted Face the Music
  • Halo: Nightfall

    Halo: Nightfall

    ★★½

    Just watched this in preparation to play Halo 5. Honestly, it’s pretty good for a videogame movie/not really a movie. And it’s easy to understand, which makes it better than the story in any Halo game. Every actor is better than Steve Downes’s performance as Master Chief.
    Once it gets going though, it barely registers as a Halo movie, because for plot reasons, they have to get rid of most of the iconic armor and weapons from the game. Hilarious.