Eric has written 52 reviews for films during 2018.

  • Bird Box

    Bird Box

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Gary really made a mess of things, huh?

    Wish I could have seen this with no expectations.

  • Ralph Breaks the Internet

    Ralph Breaks the Internet

    ★★★

    In about a week, I am going to have forgotten all the dumb stuff in this movie that I rolled my eyes at, and only remember the really great Ralph/Vanellope friendship stuff and my rating will probs go up a whole star because I am a ridiculous person.

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★½

    Really? This is the classic horror movie that everyone loves? This boring movie with all the terrible shit everybody hates about modern horror movies?

    😬

  • A Star Is Born

    A Star Is Born

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Why did this have to be so sad? They were doing so good and then sad sad sad sad and now I’m sad and I don’t wanna be sad. This movie was really good.

    😩


    I really like the scene where Bradley Cooper says something super nice to his brother and runs away and his brother drives away as fast as possible because they are gonna start crying and they don’t want each other to see it.

  • The Predator

    The Predator

    ★★★★

    Y’all are dumb and bad at movies. This is the first Predator film worth watching.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

    ★★★★★

    Still hits as hard as the first time. My face is wet.

  • The Conjuring

    The Conjuring

    ★★

    When a ghost movie starts with "Based on a true story" It means 3 things.

    1. There's now a barrier for me to get through before I can suspend my disbelief.

    2. Some con-artists are a little bit happier.

    3. I know that nobody in the movie is going to die. Because nobody died in the real case the movie is based on. Because ghosts don't exist and nobody has ever been killed by ghosts.

  • Mission: Impossible – Fallout

    Mission: Impossible – Fallout

    ★★★½

    Henry Cavill is the most charismatic block of wood starring in movies today.

  • The Adventures of Ronald McDonald: McTreasure Island

    The Adventures of Ronald McDonald: McTreasure Island

    ★½

    I don’t understand why I just watched this. What, like I really care about McDonald’s canon? I have a bad brain.

    Why is the Hamburglar their friend?

  • Split

    Split

    I don’t want to live in a world where Signs gets shit on and people go nuts over butts for Split.

  • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    ★★★

    There was a scene where Owen smelled Claire’s hair, and a little kid in the theater said “Ewww” and everybody laughed.

  • Abattoir

    Abattoir

    ★★½

    I could have a lot of fun in this house.