• Footloose

    Footloose

    ★★★★

    The wrong Penn died.

    Also, John Lithgow is amazing in this.

  • No One Will Save You

    No One Will Save You

    ★★★★

    At a certain point l, I stopped worrying for Brynn’s safety and started worrying for the aliens.

  • Fast X

    Fast X

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Why is everybody acting like Brian’s dead?

    Is Cipher telling Dom every single detail of this action scene?

    Why didn’t Dom just call or text his friends in Rome to tell them to call off the mission? 

    Momoa is so fun in this! Just a silly, funny guy doing reaction shots.

    That is not the maneuver I thought they were gonna pull.

    They made the villain more likable than any of the main heroes.

    LITTLE NOBODY. ADORABLE.

    GO BALL, GO!…

  • Meg 2: The Trench

    Meg 2: The Trench

    ★★★

    There was a shot in this movie that was emulating the Kong: Skull Island sandwich shot, but they borked it and it didn’t work. Other than that, great time at da movies. DJ is the mvp.

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

    ★★★★½

    God, this movie is so yucky, I love it. Bunch of Klasky Csupo-lookin freaks all over this. This is what that ugly new 3d Rugrats show should look like. 

    Ice Cube is so funny in this.

    Splinter is correct about the best Chris.

  • Barbie

    Barbie

    ★★★★★

    I cried almost every time Barbie cried. Practically flooded the theater.

  • Mr. Indifferent

    Mr. Indifferent

    ★★½

    Trent Crimm vibes.

  • Ferdinand the Bull

    Ferdinand the Bull

    ★★½

    I think it’s probably not true that every bull dreams of being tortured in an arena.

    Could be wrong though.

  • The Pope's Exorcist

    The Pope's Exorcist

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Why use cg on the first guy’s face if that guy wasn’t even really possessed? Maybe it wasn’t cg. Maybe I’m seeing things. Maybe I’m possessed.

    That pig didn’t deserve that.

    This kid looks like he was destined to be possessed.

    No wonder the demon is angry, he did shave and a haircut and nobody did the two bits.

    Omg it’s the pope.

    Why are they putting white subtitles over the pope’s white garb?

    That’s probably the first time I’ve…

  • The Super Mario Bros. Movie

    The Super Mario Bros. Movie

    ★★½

    I wish anyone but Illumination could have done this.

    I would have been less offended if they put Minions in this instead of all the obnoxious needle drops.

    It’s fine. The little nihilistic Luma is making me laugh.

    Is he gonna grab the power star and then it’s gonna play a mash up of the invincibility theme and some pop song? That’s what I would do, if I was John Illumination. Nope, just the theme. That’s nice.

    It still should…

  • Magic Mike's Last Dance

    Magic Mike's Last Dance

    ★★

    The worst of the trilogy. Just kind of boring. why didn’t they bring back the boys? Why was no time spent on any of the new guys? Is there a drain on this stage? Where the hell does all of that water go?

  • Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

    Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

    ★★

    It is wild how much better revenge of the sith is when you’ve watched the first 130 episodes of the clone wars. 

    Still pretty bad though.