"being free is being alone?"

"in solitude, i felt the liberty you spoke of."

"not everything is fleeting. some feelings are deep."

"if you look at me, who do i look at?"

"do all lovers feel like they're inventing something?"

part of my recs list
recommended by: haley
recommend me a film here

(part of my films i've written poetry for list)

(part of my pinned reviews list)

(top favorite first watches of 2020)

(part of my priority watchlist of 2020)

(2019 - ranked)

(céline sciamma - ranked)

every so often, you find something that feels like it was made for you. something that takes your breath away. something that breathes your air, something that falls for love the way you would fall for it yourself. something delicate, something beautiful. something pristine, something vulnerable. something personal. something perfect. for me, this was that movie. when i inhaled, i took in the crisp, cold sea air. when i inhaled, i took in rose petals and the smoke of burning wood. i took in love. this film gave me love. it gave me art, in a time in my life where i'm struggling to create because of my emotional state. as an artist, i know the pains it takes to create something as intricate as a portrait. i know the intimacy. this movie is in my heart. this movie IS my heart, given back to me again. i can't even begin to express what a masterpiece i thought it was, the feelings it made me feel, or how much i utterly, 100% head over heels loved it. i still can't believe it took me this long to see it. i can't wait to rewatch it a thousand times. i can't really speak on something that touched me so deeply, so instead of trying to explain, i'll just leave my thoughts here for you to read.

firelight,
paint dances on canvas.
you gaze at me,
and i find myself
feasting on entrances.
feasting on glances,
the sea air,
waves crashing in.
my thoughts of you
swirl inside my head,
chaos in the din.
i find you in the skin,
in the heart,
in the mind.
i'm tied to you
like a corset,
impossible to bind.
i don't know my lines,
i'm not reading
from a script.
a shooting star
besieged my heart,
crystalline magic kiss.
sun beam's magic trist,
it caresses your
golden hair.
the limit of
our time is silent,
but we both know
it's there.

candlelight,
it flickers close to dawn.
when i close
my eyes to dream,
it's you i look upon.
choosing memories,
choosing you;
losing time in the
faceless blue.
glimpses,
portraits;
color bleeds true.
out of anyone who
could be here now,
it's us inside this room.

fairy light,
ivory silk,
sunshine
mixed with green.
when people say
"i love you",
this is what they mean.
this is what i've seen,
a light wrapped
up in dark.
a shroud,
a cloud,
a wistful sound;
a looming afterthought.
a parting so distraught,
we cry ourselves to sleep.
for us to hold,
for us to cherish,
but not for us to keep.
inside we break and weep,
i saw you sob that night.
the violin,
it's caving in,
the velvet blanket tight.
the world unfolds,
fevered chokeholds,
the moon's reflection bright.
i don't know much,
but of this i'm sure:
loving you was right.