Lonnie has written 128 reviews for films during 2021.

  • Don't Look Up

    Don't Look Up

    one long snl skit

  • No Time to Die

    No Time to Die


  • The Scary of Sixty-First

    The Scary of Sixty-First


    "why does ghislaine maxwell dress like a fucking nutcracker?"

  • Den of Thieves

    Den of Thieves


    gerard butler looks so fucked up in this

  • Last Night in Soho

    Last Night in Soho


    no... NO!!!

  • The Card Counter

    The Card Counter


    i dunno. usually enjoy watching paul schrader type guys running around being weirdos but this felt like a parody to me. tons of ideas floating around, executed on like a chore, and with little emotional connective tissue. think they could have captured the whole "self-imposed prison" of william's life without some of the grating narration and theatrics - wrapping up the furniture makes for an ominous shot in a trailer but in the film is just so fucking funny i'm sorry.

    ready player one kid looks like a FREAK here. they gotta get him playing more dirtbags.

  • Spider-Man




  • The Deep House

    The Deep House

    deep sea outlast. they really just took a bland haunted house movie script and put it underwater. felt like it wanted to be ten different genres of haunted house too. is it ghosts. is it zombies. is it satanists. is it serial killers. is it all of the above??? waste of a genuinely spooky setting. their drone just becoming evil was really funny though.

  • Assault on Precinct 13

    Assault on Precinct 13


    so much high praise for this one. just not for me i guess.

  • Lamb



    cute lamb

  • Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin

    Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin


    this just stops being a found footage movie for a few minutes near the end because it became too mechanically difficult to get the shots they wanted i guess?? a gun goes off and the CAMERA gets tinnitus?? extended outlast creature chase sequence finale. i kind of liked the fucked up church hole but idk man.

    this might be the first movie i've seen since covid (not counting host) that was just casually set during covid and didn't have to adjust the dates to be conveniently right before lol

  • Knocking



    girl has clearly never lived in a lower floor apartment