Valkorion has written 27 reviews for films during 2023.

  • Fight Club

    Fight Club

    ★★★★½

    It’s a really good movie not because of the critique of toxic masculinity, or even the great acting, but because Jared Leto gets the shit beaten out of him.

  • Saw X

    Saw X

    ★★

    Did we really need Saw X? I don’t think so 

    But I will watch the next ten so keep ‘em coming

  • Goon: Last of the Enforcers

    Goon: Last of the Enforcers

    ★★★½

    I will continue to quote one liners from the Goon movies and no one can stop me.

  • The Killer

    The Killer

    ★★★★½

    The most normal Smiths fan, maybe I should listen to them more often.

    Will I though? Fuck no

  • Fast X

    Fast X

    ★½

    I don’t think I’ve eyerolled more at any movie more than this. Still going to watch the next one no matter how batshit crazy it seems.

  • When Evil Lurks

    When Evil Lurks

    ★★★★

    Very depraved and unsettling at times, but now I can’t stop thinking about what apple ice cream would taste like.

  • Possessor

    Possessor

    ★★★★½

    Woah

  • Five Nights at Freddy's

    Five Nights at Freddy's

    ★★★½

    Honestly scratched my ‘tism for a bit and got to explain fnaf lore to my friend while she pretended to be interested. 

    10/10 would do it again

  • Tokyo Gore Police

    Tokyo Gore Police

    ★★★★

    Had a friend/regular put this on at the bar while I was working and honestly…… I really don’t have any words. This was so rad and I can’t wait to actually sit down and watch it fully. Had no idea what was coming next and have no complaints at all.

  • Pacific Rim

    Pacific Rim

    ★★★★½

    Big robots vs big monsters. Enough said.

  • Godzilla vs. Kong

    Godzilla vs. Kong

    ★★★★

    Big lizard vs big monkey. What more can you want.

  • V for Vendetta

    V for Vendetta

    ★★★★

    Seeing this at a young age has a heavy influence on my political opinions. Also Hugo Weaving kicks ass.