🐱Andrew Chrzanowski🐱

🐱Andrew Chrzanowski🐱 Patron

Favorite films

  • May December
  • 20 Days in Mariupol
  • 2046
  • In the Mood for Love

Recent activity

  • From Here to Eternity


  • Thriller 40


  • Chowchilla


  • NYAD


Pinned reviews

  • Gemini Man

    Gemini Man

    Now, this is a movie all about how
    Will Smith got cloned by a man of renown.
    And I'd like to take a minute, just sit with me,
    I'll tell you how he became de-aged in a film by Ang Lee.

    In west of some laboratory, born and raised,
    In a test tube was where he spent most of his days.
    Chillin' out, maxin', assassinatin' a fool,
    And all shootin' some people to graduate from school,
    When a couple of…

  • Frozen II

    Frozen II


    The screen glows white in the theatre tonight
    Not a cellphone to be seen
    A film devoid of imagination
    And it needs to be in quarantine

    My face is scowling like a raging storm inside
    Couldn't make it good, heaven knows they tried

    Don't let them in, don't let them see
    Be the good film Frozen I was to me
    Raw deal, this reel, don't let them know
    Well, now they know

    Don't you go, don't you go
    Can't say…

Recent reviews

  • From Here to Eternity

    From Here to Eternity


    "A man loves a thing, but that don't mean it's gotta love him back."

    Japan may have bombed Hawaii, but the state they hate the most is Delaware. That's because, of course, they chose to effectively erase the most important state commemoration of the year by committing their wartime act on December 7th, a date which will live in infamy instead of celebration, as it is also the anniversary of Delaware becoming The First State, signing the U.S. Constitution on…

  • Thriller 40

    Thriller 40


    "Mike just turned it the fuck out!"

    Hey, it's a documentary by esteemed cultural critic Nelson George about one of the greatest albums of all time for its 40th anniversary! Neat!

    Okay, it's been 41 years now. Anyway.

    That's Thriller, of course, the best of the best, and despite your opinions about Michael Jackson there isn't any use denying his talent and musical genius in the zenith of his career in the early-to-mid-1980s. With producing legend Quincy Jones and the…

Popular reviews

  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail


    🎉"Old woman!"
    "Sorry. Old man! Who lives in that castle?"
    "I'm 37!"
    "I'm 37, I'm not old!"
    "Well, I can't just call you 'man'."
    "Well, you could say 'Dennis'."
    "I didn't know you were called Dennis."
    "Well you never bothered to find out, did you?"

    I've been waiting my whole life to use that quote on my birthday! I'm 37, I'm not old! But my name still isn't Dennis.

    Part of Terry Gilliam ranked.
    Part of Terry Jones ranked.
    Part of My Subjective List of the Best Narrative Films.

  • Apocalypto



    ”Our lands were ravaged. We seek a new beginning.”

    I dunno, maybe Mel Gibson just wanted to find a way to kill a bunch of brown-skinned people on screen. Did you ever think about that?

    Mel Gibson’s allegorical and violent adventure film Apocalypto has some visual splendor, tremendous performances by young and dynamic indigenous actors, and some worthwhile attempts to portray a society with rich history. Through a hero's journey, a tribe of Maya in the Yucatan is thrown into…