Favorite films

  • The Iron Giant
  • Planet of the Apes
  • God's Own Country
  • Velvet Goldmine

Recent activity

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  • Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

  • Disenchanted

  • Alita: Battle Angel

    ★★★★

  • Barbarian

    ★★★★★

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  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★★

    Blonde teenage egghead
    Knitting needle in hand
    Babysits and bites her nails
    While her friends get diced and canned

    Wears an apron to avoid
    Blots of butter on her blouse
    But soon Michael finds her hiding
    In that white suburban house

    Laurie shakes and cries
    When the boogeyman comes near
    But when finally he gets her
    She stabs his jugular, in tears

    Michael drops and rises
    Just a few more times before
    Some stab wounds and some bullets
    Make him Halloween décor

    We know he isn't dead yet,
    And Laurie's far from safe,
    Haddonfield must reckon with
    The Michael Meyers case.

  • Attack the Block

    Attack the Block

    ★★★★½

    Predator-Fighting Preteen
    Neotonous Ninja
    Fifa-Playing Fulano
    Alien-Killer Achilles
    Chunin-Level Chav
    Monster-Hunter Moses

Popular reviews

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  • Scream

    Scream

    ★★★★½

    A Teenager's Guide to Surviving Horror Movie Homicide, or How to Successfully Avoid Your Horror-Horny Boyfriend's Murder Spree