Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills ½

had no expectations that this was going to be good but i kinda thought it would be watchable and competent like the last one...boy was i wrong. this is an enormous piece of shit, embarrassingly bad. begins with one of the most incoherent and ill-conceived opening set pieces ive ever seen in a major hollywood film and spirals out from there - the first five minutes might be the best in the movie and they suck. they clearly never figured out what this was going to be about and had no intention of making a movie that functions on its own - its just a bunch of annoying, pointless, franchise filler nonsense happening for 100 minutes leading up to a conclusion that is completely unearned and lands with a dud. no movie needs to exist less than this one, cynical hack bullshit slapped together because blumhouse ordered two sequels at once and they had to do something to bridge the gap between the first and third. altho this really does nothing to advance the characters outside of the very last moment so how much gap-bridging is it doing, really? utterly wastes its best two assets, jaime lee curtis and carpenter’s score, too. curtis literally does nothing other than lay in a hospital bed reading stock lines about how meyers is pure evil, and carpenter’s music, while strong on its own, is so poorly integrated into the action that it makes zero impact. there are maybe one or two moments that successfully replicate cundey’s gorgeous high contrast lighting and scope compositions, but for the most part this looks like every other shitty studio horror movie youve seen in the last 10 years...lmao at them bringing back those nothing characters from the original like anyone in the world gives a fuck, a parody of franchise fan service filmmaking. doesnt do anything remotely interesting with them narratively, either

this is dire. the worst halloween movie, the worst movie john carpenter has his name on, and honestly just one of the worst movies period. could not hate it more. makes halloween (2018) look like halloween (1978)

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