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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    For a long time, I thought there was no way I could possibly write about my favorite film of all time because I felt like there was nothing I could say that would do it justice. Then I realized, you know, that it doesn’t really matter what I say about it because this film speaks for itself. It is a perfect movie in every way and everything about it is well, perfect. The direction, the camerawork, the score, the lighting,…

  • Horror House on Highway Five

    Horror House on Highway Five

    This film is a fucking MASTERPIECE of bad cinema! A DISASTERPIECE! Seriously, it is so so so so so good because it is so so so so so bad and I just CANNOT get enough!

    The story is bizarre to say the least: Nazis, a killer in a Richard Nixon mask, a mad doctor, rockets (yes, you read that right), 35 year old college students, brain eating parasites, unidentifiable off-camera flying killer objects a la Phantasm...it's all here in this…

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  • The Midnight Man

    The Midnight Man

    Wow! This was almost mind numbingly stupid! But sometimes all I want is a shitty teen horror movie and this absolutely fulfills that desire. It’s the Bye Bye Man with less atmosphere although this does have a nice snowy nighttime big spooky house setting as well, it just doesn’t quite match the BBM vibe I love although the bloody bathroom scene is actually quite nice. It’s also not quite as wacko either. Like BBM doesn’t make one goddamn bit of…

  • Night of the Living Dead

    Night of the Living Dead

    This is a really great remake. Gonna go ahead and bump it up half a star because I forgot just how much I love it. Stays faithful to the original with just enough updating to bring it into 1990. Really great stuff!

    Tom Savini does a great job and maybe nobody saw that coming at the time so good for him. The gore is great, but probably everybody saw that coming so also good for him. The best part of…

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  • The Haunting of Hill House

    The Haunting of Hill House

    Absolutely the best miniseries I have ever seen. Possibly the best miniseries ever made and yes I am absolutely serious.

    Everything in this was the best choice. The whole thing continuously impressed me, but that ending to episode 5 slapped my ass right across the room. Across the goddamn room. The entirety of episode 6 should and will be examined in film schools from here on. Episode 10 gave me so many intense feelings including some that I usually don’t…

  • Altered States

    Altered States

    When I was 19, I had a really bad trip that resulted from me unknowingly taking a much larger quantity of acid than I realized. Yes, that is actually a thing that can happen. During this trip, I was inside a friend’s huge mountain house that I had never visited before and I became caught between life and death. I remember that life was beautiful and full of pretty colors and beautiful imagery, but in the darkened corners of that…