Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters ★★★

I honestly had no plans on watching this ever. I didn't see it in theaters and figured the only way I'd ever get a chance to see it was on Netflix or on cable. It didn't look very interesting, and it appeared to be another shitty re-imagining of old fairytale in the same fashion as Brothers Grimm. I only came to watching it because a co-worker had a bootleg copy and when he asked if I wanted to check it out, I figured it couldn't hurt.

I will say that it wasn't horrible, but in no way was this a good movie. I was actually entertained on a base level of it being comical and overly bloody and those tend to be 2 things I like. I think the fact that it was completely ridiculous was why I had a little fun with it. The action was ultraviolent, which ended up being pretty hilarious when heads were bring popped like tomatoes, or when all manner of retarded looking witches were being gunned down by a gatlin gun. Like I said, it was kind of stupid, but I laughed quite a bit, and it was worth the watch at least. I was still glad to not have wasted money in the theater.

The performances were pretty much shit as expected. I expect better work from Jeremy Renner, who I think is a good actor and has been in good movies. I though it was especially ridiculous that he had fucking diabetes, I mean really?? He got diabetes from the candy that the witch forced him to eat when he was a child, that is so lame. Gemma Arterton was OK, she pretty much looked hot as hell and killed some withes, I really can't complain. I also thought it was odd that Famke Janssen looked good in this, when last year she looked old as dirt in Taken 2. Or maybe I thought she looked like shit because that movie was such a pile of garbage.

At the end of the day, I thought the film was OK, nothing special and definitely nothing i would be rushing out to re-watch anytime soon. It's worth a one time watch though and I'm pretty sure most people would find some of the film funny.

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