The Hidden Fortress

The Hidden Fortress ★★★★

Star Wars without fucking Ewoks or Jar Jar fucking Binks. Cadaver stink. Dead-body armor. C-3PO and R2-D2's silly fuckin' cousins. A huge-ass reward. Fuckin' grave diggin'. Where's da fuckin' gold at? Escaping like Steve fuckin' McQueen. The way Toshiro Mifune laughs. The Rebel fuckin' Alliance. The great rock climb. The Death fuckin' Star. A legendary samurai general. Who's that girl? All hot and sweaty. Rapid-fuckin'-blinking. A comb. Duty served. Reverse psychology. A vow of silence. Golden firewood. She might be a mute, but she ain't fucking dumb. Fool's gold. A not-so-pimpin' pimp. A fuckin' lightsaber duel without fuckin' lightsabers. The Fire fuckin' Festival. Faces in the fuckin' crowd. Hiding out in the fuckin' woods. Tied up and fucked. Beautiful fuckin' singing. Using the Force on some mother fuckers. Fuckin' shitheads. An outfit that would scare the fuck out of Darth Vader. A single fuckin' Ryō. Akira Kurosawa directed mad fuckin' films. You see his influence in many films today. He was a fuckin' master of his craft and worthy of the highest praise. Toshiro Mifune was the "Sultan of all things cool-as-fuck." They go together like fuck and this review. May the Samurai Force be with you mother fuckers.

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