• American Psycho

    American Psycho


    "You're inhuman."
    "No...I'm in touch with humanity."

    I think after the 80's and into the supposedly enlightened 90's, there was a tendency to think that this only satirized a specific bygone era, and while that was still relevant as a hindsight observation, it didn't quite resemble the concurrent world of 1999-2000. But here we are in 2023 and the greediest and most privileged people alive are going on TV or on the internet everyday and saying how they basically want…

  • The Savage Eye

    The Savage Eye


    This the the only period in history when the majority of professional wrestling fans and spectators were bloodthirsty grandmas.

    The earliest movie I’ve ever seen where they use the word “masturbation”.

  • I Was a Male War Bride

    I Was a Male War Bride


    You couldn’t make I Was A Male War Bride today (it’s too critical of the military industrial complex and would never get approval from the Pentagon).

  • The Old Dark House

    The Old Dark House


    "You revel in the joys of fleshly love, don't you?"

    Whale's creepiest and actually scariest movie, no knock on Frankenstein or The Invisible Man, which are too over-the-top and entertaining to be genuinely terrifying, though. All-timer entrance from Charles Laughton, barreling out of a thunderstorm and shouting in a country English accent.

  • Garden Gopher

    Garden Gopher


    How many times can you blow up one dog in an animated short? According to this, half a dozen times give or take. Dressing up as a sexy gopher to distract someone is stealing a move from Bugs Bunny’s playbook, but the results here are so hilarious that you don’t even care.

  • Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain

    Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain


    Starts off funny enough, and if it had just been them hanging out in the town with all the weird people it might have been great (seeing Conan get to let his freak flag fly was endearing, even if acting isn't his strong suit). But once it starts on its journey plot, which is heavily dependent on sloppily edited big CGI setpieces, it gets a little too bogged down in its ambition. This recent trend of movies relying on quick…

  • Silent Night

    Silent Night


    It's Woover*

    This goes around its tricky premise a few times by including snippets from police scanners, radio news shows, and YouTube instructional videos, but that's not really the heart of the major flaws you see here. This often resembles a "what if..." scenario if Pure Flix Entertainment were to suddenly remove most of their references to religion and then up their graphic violence quotient, as the set-upon protagonist of the film is ready to destroy every Latino gang member…

  • Battle Royale

    Battle Royale



    Chigusa's working up to her final words to be something profound or even a declaration of dying love for her longtime crush and then saying, "You look really cool, Hiroki" which he responds with, "You're the coolest girl in the world", which are the last words she hears, is the most realistic portrayal of teens in movie history.

    The song playing over the end credits isn't quite "Dani California" but it certainly is a whiplash in tone from the rest of the film.

  • Seeds



    "I wish you'd have some food, Mother."
    "You know I HATE food!"

    A dysfunctional family with an alcoholic matriarch and a married, successful oldest son named Michael and another infantilized youngest son named Buster who has joined the military after attending boarding school...this is certainly a new twist on Motherboy.

    Thinking of that Future Utopia meme when I imagine a world where Andy Milligan and Henry Kissinger swapped, and Andy is the one who's just passed away and we lost Pissinger over 30 years ago*.

  • Fear Is the Key

    Fear Is the Key


    This goes and just keeps going, one of the best car chases of its era and considering the bayou action it reminded me a lot of the boat chases in Live And Let Die. It's especially wild that a hardboiled neo-noir like story was written by consummate "Men On A Mission" author Alistair MacLean, with this being nothing really like the wartime-set Guns Of Navarone or Where Eagles Dare, except that it's fairly exciting. It does kind of cool down, but there are so many twists it gives you whiplash, so it's never boring. Hairy Ben Kingsley is more menacing than John Vernon, somehow.

  • Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

    Kiss Kiss Bang Bang


    “So what do you do for a living?”

    “Uh, I'm retired. I invented dice when I was a kid.”

    The Not Nice Guys

  • Napoleon



    “You think you’re so great because you have boats!”

    I’ve never learned anything about Napoleon in my life, really, and this was on 70mm so I had a mostly good time. Kind of boring in parts and obviously not as kinky as everyone hoped (Napoleon is a switch?), but I was more interested in the battles and the re-enactments, which were mostly fine. It certainly evokes Barry Lyndon and Eyes Wide Shut in parts, so obviously the choice to direct…