Avatar

Avatar ★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

I’ve only seen this once playing on T.V years ago and couldn’t remember a single thing about it, so I decided to put my big boy shoes on and go see this bad thang in IMAX 3freakingD. You bet your bottom dollar I had a good time, like a little kid again at a theme park riding a roller coaster but instead the roller coaster is a blurple baby Pterosaur. Every bit of that 15 dollars and 15 extra dollars I spent on a popcorn and coke was totally worth the price of admission. The special effects were meant to be seen in this format. However, just like the roller coaster as a kid, I hated waiting in lines and I hated getting off the rollercoaster. The joy I had on that rollercoaster was gone in a flash, short lived until I got back on another one. That’s the epitome of this film for me, a roller coaster of amazing visuals but once those amazing sequences of using those incredible visuals were gone and it focuses more on the story, it became less of a ride for me and more so a predictable, soulless, overdone story with cardboard cutout characters and stale writing.

Simply put, I believe they just took the story of Pocahontas and decided to make them taller and bluer, give them bird dragons to fly on, have John Smith be a marine and there we go, we have Avatar.

Still enjoyed it but I laughed when Michelle Rodriguez showed up with Avatar paint but dies insignificantly 2 seconds afterwards. Oh, the brother as well. I love how he dies and literally no one acknowledges it. HE WAS THEIR LEADER AND NO ONE ACKNOWLEDGES HIS DEATH????????? LOLOLOLOL

Can’t wait for the second one.

FAVORITE ASPECT:
Stephan Lang as GI JOE AMERICA F YEAAAAA!!. At least he realized how silly and overdone the script was.

LEAST FAVORITE ASPECT:
Everything besides the visuals and Stephan Lang’s psychotic character.

FAVORITE SCENE:
The love scene where John Smith sticks his tail in Pocahontas’s tail in front of their ancestor garden with the spiritual dandelions falling down.

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