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  • The Terminator

    The Terminator

    ★★★★★

    Let's get this out of the way: Between this and its great sequel, I prefer the original. Yet, a comparison is almost pointless. While T2 is this well-oiled machine of an action movie, The Terminator is an 80s slasher movie - horny roommate included.

    This film works as a high concept sci-fi horror film and is also able to fuel existentialist fears. Its small scale makes the prospect of this bleak future feel even more oppressive and inevitable. The dread…

  • Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

    ★★

    Valerian is terrible and at the same time I wish other movies were more like it. What obnoxious statement is that, you ask? Let me explain.

    It starts off promising enough, with two sequences that consist of pure visual storytelling - one to establish the world of Alpha, one to introduce the plot. Unfortunately, afterwards people start talking. At first it's tolerable, then after about 40 minutes the convoluted exposition sets in and no one shuts their face again until…

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  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★★★

    It's almost two years now since this film was the toast of the town, so you probably already know if you love it or hate it. As I'm a shill for this kind of pretentious crap, I love it. Eerie maritime settings are just where it's at for me. In addition, it's way funnier than I remembered. At least until it isn't anymore.

    Willem Dafoe is again a force of nature, combined with the confident direction and cinematography he genuinely…

  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★★

    The original Suspiria didn't need a remake. That Call me by your Name fella made one anyway. He worked out what was the core of the story and changed up everything around it to create an intriguing companion piece. It almost feels like antimatter to the 1977 version, it's the Spiderman: Homecoming approach to remakes if you will.

    It goes like this:
    Did you like the twisted fairytale version of Munich? This time it is the very real Baader-Meinhof ridden…