William (first account)’s review published on Letterboxd:
ARGH!! AHOY MATEYS!!!
It is I, Captain will.i.am Brown. Today, this will be the first installment in my brand new series of film reviews that I'll be doing every month leading up to an official release. This time, I will be tackling the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise because Dead Men Tells No Tales comes out this May. So everyone, get on board on my ship as we will travel across the 4 deadly seas before we hit the 5th. Once we reach the 5th, Land HO!!!
So, I remember watching the first Pirates film and I always wanted to be a witty and sneaky pirate like what Jack Sparrow was. I would be stealing precious treasures from the evil patriots and then I would end up getting caught by them by now. Finally, I would break out of prison and then would set sail across many seas to search for more loot. From there, I would be filling up my ship with gold until the ship sinks to the bottom of the ocean and would give my final salute to my crew. That right there kinda makes me a bad-ass pirate if a fantasy world of piracy exists. I bet every kid who saw the movie in the theater wished that they would be pirates when they grow up. I'm not just the only one, kids!
I also remember going on the Pirates ride in Disney World so many times as a kid. Using my creative imagination, I was expecting my good buddy, Jack Sparrow to swing into action and my family would get immersed into the "real" world of Pirates of the Caribbean. As a family of pirates, we would join him to hack and slash through countless undead pirates during a haunting and beautiful night and hopefully we'll defeat the main leader, Captain Hector Barbossa. I'm waiting for that event to happen on my next ride over at Disney Land!
This is without a doubt the best out of the bunch!
Here's a true story! On my first viewing, I fell asleep at the mid dock of the movie because I was so tired one night. Then, I woke up seeing the creepy-ass monkey with the golden medallion in his hands. As soon as the chimp attacked the camera and then faded to black, I screamed like a little girl. I'm not making this up, guys! It's slightly true.