Kai has written 13 reviews for films rated ★★★ during 2022.

  • Doctor Who: Planet of Giants

    Doctor Who: Planet of Giants

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "What bothers me is how cool you are."
    - Smithers

    People say that to me all the time.

    I do love the simple concept of the characters being shrunk being combined with a fucking murder plot.

    I love that this story's 2 cliffhangers are; a cat sees the group, and someone washes their hands.

    Smithers seems extraordinarily fed up with being involved in a murder.

    "There's nothing like a good fire, is there my boy? *Laughs*"
    - The Doctor (1)

    The Doctor is a fucking arsonist!

  • Doctor Who: The Sensorites

    Doctor Who: The Sensorites

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Yes, it all started out as a mild curiosity in a junkyard. And now it's turned out to be quite a... Quite a great spirit of adventure, don't you think?"
    - The Doctor (1)

    Poor Barbara went from being the focus of the previous story to disappearing midway through this story.

    "Look at the state he's in!"
    - Susan Foreman describing the Doctor's condition

    Susan, he's just lying unconsc- HOLY SHIT HIS COAT IS FUCKING DESTROYED!!!!
    I'M SHOCKED THE DOCTOR…

  • Doctor Who: Planet of the Daleks

    Doctor Who: Planet of the Daleks

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    💜 Wester 💜

    Thank goodness I saw the Daleks before watching this episode. Feels good to have a story I've seen referenced, especially after the last story.

    "You know, for a man who abhors violence, I must say I took great satisfaction in doing that."
    - The Doctor (3)

    Oh Doctor, you sadistic mother fucker.

    Come on Thals, you have space travel, could you really not see that the Doctor was basically just making a hot air balloon?

    Those poor Daleks went out like MLP Characters in a Jar.

  • Doctor Who: Colony in Space

    Doctor Who: Colony in Space

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I wish they used that effect every time the TARDIS took off or landed in Modern Who.
    No need to have the TARDIS slowly fade into or out of existence, just be there one moment then gone the next.


    "Jim'll fix it."
    - Mary Ashe
    That line certainly won't age this episode at all.


    "My immediate plans are to expose you as an Imposter!"
    - The Doctor (3)

    "I urge you not to trust this man, he's an Imposter!"
    -…

  • Doctor Who: The Claws of Axos

    Doctor Who: The Claws of Axos

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The Master: 👉👈 "Bw-bw-bw, Bwigadier... Pwease help me fix the TARDIS..." 🥺

    The reason this story isn't as good as the 2 previous stories is that the Doctor and the Master don't interact until episode 4 of 4.

    Also, the Doctor really went 'Meet the Spy' / 'Amongus' on them at the end there.

  • Doctor Who: The Daleks

    Doctor Who: The Daleks

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "All Daleks in section 2 are to be moved to the Sonic Chamber."

    'The Sonic Chamber' is what I call my bedroom.


    I can't tell if watching this after Genesis of the Daleks enhanced my experience or if it would have been better the other way around.

    The first point that made me think about this was Skaro being irradiated because, in Genesis, shit went Boom and I somehow never thought about that causing some fallout.

    However, this story also…

  • Doctor Who: An Unearthly Child

    Doctor Who: An Unearthly Child

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Episode 1: A great episode in which the Doctor is, honestly, a rather chilling antagonist, on par with the likes of Davros and the Weeping Angels. 7/10

    Episodes 2-4: Really boring due to their focus on these cavemen and their inability to make some fucking fire, but the scenes focusing on the TARDIS Team are actually alright. All 3 are 5/10

  • Doctor Who: The Three Doctors

    Doctor Who: The Three Doctors

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Why I practically had him convinced until you came along! Now he's treating me like an Imposter."
    - The Doctor (3)

    Omega having a fucking breakdown was pretty fun. I would've made the exact same sounds if I realised I didn't exist.

  • Doctor Who: The Face of Evil

    Doctor Who: The Face of Evil

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Just learned that the Doctor already said "Take me to your leader."

    Always gotta love Doctor Who stories with fake Gods.

    Enjoying the Doctor and Leela Dynamic so far.

    Just let Tom Baker play every character.

  • Doctor Who: The Masque of Mandragora

    Doctor Who: The Masque of Mandragora

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It Alright. A little boring honestly (but that might just be because I'm tired tonight).

    The Doctor really went and said he knew Sarah was brainwashed because she asked a question every modern Who Companion has asked.

    And it's always good to see the Doctor fuck shit up with a sword.

    (Also Guiliano and Marco probably had some gay shit going on.)

  • Doctor Who: Delta and the Bannermen

    Doctor Who: Delta and the Bannermen

    ★★★

    A nice episode. Nothing too special but nothing bad either.
    (Despite taking a backseat this story, Mel still gets one or two screams in.)

  • Doctor Who: Revenge of the Cybermen

    Doctor Who: Revenge of the Cybermen

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "You have the philosophy of a cringing mouse, Tyrum!"
    - Vorus

    "HARRY SULLIVAN IS AN IMBICILE!!!"
    - The Doctor

    "You see, Kellerman, he's dead by the way,"
    - Harry Sullivan

    This may be a pretty average DW story that just uses the Cybermen as robot soldiers (Instead of the desperate last hope of humanity that they should be used as), but it has had some brilliant quotes.