Bullet Train

Bullet Train ★★

Has some okay moments of decidedly whacky early-2000s Tarantino-imitating coolness and comic violence in the first third or so, but the blockbuster tendency of recent years to be at least half an hour too long ultimately fucks this up beyond repair. After a certain point, it just goes on and on with yet another quirky flashback, yet another Thomas the Tank Engine-gag, yet another cameo, before the pinnacle of staleness is reached and the head villain mercilessly lays out every character's exact entanglement in the bloated plot one by one.

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