Tedcoolguy7’s review published on Letterboxd:
The form is chaos and chaos is directly reiterated as the state of things along with repeatedly stated assertions that the world is ending soon, both in the brutal Bayhem version of an Arthurian Middle Ages battle at the beginning and the present tense. Stanley Tucci, a plays Merlin as an alcoholic fraud, in the previous film he played a Steve Jobs like figure that was vain hubristic and redeemable. "Apocalypse" indirectly comes up when daughter phones her fugitive -hero father he is "running out of tomorrows" and transmission is cut off before she can end the call with the sentence "I love you".
Sea and Sky coalesce, deep underwater merges with the clouds in the later third (preceded by car chase though London) and middle age fantasy is transposed on top of an aerial space battle, hinging on a heroic removal of a sword in mid air. Vertigo induced world upended in a delirious crash of planets, Earth vs the evil female fairy like God that gave life to the Transformers and her tree branch textured globe that can apparently scrape apart cities. A battle of red fire and deep countryside greenery
The Transformers themselves are revealed by Anthony Hopkins figure of professorial wisdom to be Zelig-like figures throughout world history, aiding the WW2 allies as well as Harriet Tubman's runaway slaves.
Mark Wahlberg's athletic inventor is coupled with an Oxford historian that looks like a model and introduced (as is present tense England itself) competing in a violent polo game with stereotypical fancy spectators. Her British aunties think the couple's crashing mad search for a secret whatever in the upstairs bedrooms on is violent love making in one of dumb gags predictably packed in everywhere (which work less than often n they fail) seemingly operating out of a perfunctory "someone should fall or get angry here" mentality but the whirlwind proceeds too rapidly to ponder why that stuff shouldn't win awards.
A Spielbergian little girl and tiny robot buddy are among the collage as well, integral to battle but no one knows how they made it onto the battle ship.
Age of Extinction began more interestingly than where it ended up and here the reverse is true, the "can you top this?" escalation is spectacle high points provides the more sublime moments of the series as a whole.
Two favorite bits too brief to remembered by everyone: (1) the robot butler clinging to the outside of a submarine in the deep
retrieving two large fish and smacking them to death inside so he can make a romantic dinner for the couple being forced to save the world. (2) The angle on the NASA physicist's head in hands depressed bleakness as he's the last to find out that the world has been saved, dwarfed by mass of celebrating colleagues that might as well be reveling in the end of the big game and the blues and reds of the satellite screens might as well be a scoreboard.