Favorite films

  • Evil Dead II
  • This Is Spinal Tap
  • Back to the Future
  • Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Recent activity

  • Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat


  • Paul Blart: Mall Cop

  • Ghostbusters: Afterlife

  • Cyborg

Recent reviews

  • Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat

    Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat

    David Carradine and Bruce Campbell in a vampire western? Yes, please! Despite the terrible title and bad poster artwork, this movie is an absolute blast! The pacing is slow and off a little, but the story, characters, and third act are so much fun.

    Sunscreen, hats, and a factory to make synthetic blood keep the vampires in the town of Purgatory from killing humans. The old-school vampires want to fight Carradine and his group of nonblood-sucking vampires. Every scene with…

  • Paul Blart: Mall Cop

    Paul Blart: Mall Cop

    How long before the inevitable reboot or spinoff of Paul Blart starring Melissa McCarthy as Paula Blart: Mall Cop? Not that it matters with this dumb movie, but here’s how the pitch would go down.

    Producers: We want to make Paul Blart Mall Cop but with Melissa McCarthy and call it…wait for it…Paula Blart: Mall Cop
    Hollywood Execs: but will she be bumbling and knock over stuff? Can she fart while driving a Segway?
    Producers: That’s the only way she agreed to do this film. In fact, it’s in her contract.
    Hollywood Execs: Here are millions of dollars! Get this made! Call Netflix now!

Popular reviews

  • Don't Breathe 2

    Don't Breathe 2

    Don’t Breathe 2 and the Chamber of Turkey Basters
    Don’t Breathe 3 and the Prisoner of Blind Rapists
    Don’t Breathe 4 and the Goblet of Semen
    Don’t Breathe 5 and Order of the Baster
    Don’t Breathe 6 and the Half-Blood Turkey Baster
    Don’t Breathe 7 and the Deathly Ejaculate Part 1
    Don’t Breathe 8 and the Deathly Ejaculate Part 2


  • Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies

    Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies

    Wishmaster 2: Cheesiness never dies. Andrew Divoff plays each scene as the Wishmaster as if Jim Carrey was doing a bad character impression on In Living Color (Think a demonic Fire Marshall Bill). There are all kinds of illogical nonsense and plotholes throughout this whole mess of a sequel, but it falls under the so bad it’s entertaining category. The gore and kills are also a lot of fun and get super creative.

    A couple of plot holes are so…