Favorite films

Pinned reviews

• 

  Evil Ever After 2006

  ★★★★ Watched 24 Dec 2021 3

  I'm going to tell my kids that this is Cruella or...a totally awful movie for awful people, so of course I loved it...and its a Christmas movie, one of the cops wore a Santa hat while they were raping the ever nubile Randal Malone, but I guess I'm getting a head (not literally) of myself. Anyhoo, Joe Bob Briggs is in this too, he gets to make out with wife Brinke Stevens (briefly), and (teen but more likely 20something) daughter…

• 

  Night of the Dead 2012

  ★★½ Watched 06 May 2017 1

  It's 2012 and you have Ron Jeremy on your movie poster, good luck with that, but I'm somewhat addicted to director Dennis Devine's output (especially 2000s) with his reuse of locations, inexperienced photogenic actors playing community college students, and Randall Malone (I mean why would you put Ron Jeremy when you have Randal Malone right there). This is the belated (5 years) sequel to Don't Go
  into the Cellar that no one asked for. Leah (Shevaun Kastl) played the older…

Recent reviews

• 

  Fangs Out 2023

  ★★★ Watched 27 May 2023

  The David Sterling woods fill in for Mexico for this vampire/medical shenanigans comedy(?) horror(?) flick from Dennis Devine. Vampire nurse Veronica Ricci wears mime makeup; doesn't protect her from the sun...but she's an improvement over Sally Mullins (a shallow cut for the Devine heads out there). I guess Dennis only has his DP (Dennis Devine) to blame for the boom appearing in certain shots. It's always nice to see Marlene McCohen and Robert Rhine (the Corpse & Babes (?) guy). Dennis…

• 

  Death Dancers 1993

  ★★★½ Watched 30 Apr 2023 1

  Death Dancers is an art house mix of 80's porno chic and dtv 90s erotic thrillers. It's (amazingly) incomprehensible, but Deborah Dutch is amazing. The given synopsis says something about undercover cops investigating a S&M scene, but okay sure if you say so. It's from Troma, of course.

Popular reviews

• 

  Guinea Pig: Devil's Experiment 1985

  ★★★ Watched 11 May 2019 9

  I always wonder if its worth telling the story where Charlie Sheen saw this at a cocaine party at Chris Gore's house, and thought it was snuff, so he called the FBI to investigate, which in turn started a feud between Chris Gore and Chas Balun. Now if the names Chris Gore, and Chas Balun are familiar to you then you've probably know the story, if not, who gives a fuck. But that would be ignoring history, man. Chas Balun…

• 

  Mutilations 1987

  ★★★★ Watched 11 Oct 2016 9

  I turned 42 today, so I took the day off from work and as the kids (at least the kids in my middle aged view point) would say #daydrinking. I know you're saying "goddamn it Smellington, we know you're middle age, stop bringing it up and the whole drunk review is sooooo 1990s", but on the other hand *************************, so fuck you. If you're confused, well so am I. Anyhoo, I've been anticipating seeing Mutilations for at least the past…