Simonsen Pro

Known to pull a cork. Used to be beautiful. Lost a middle-school spelling bee on the word "kakistocracy."

Favorite films

  • Dazed and Confused
  • Mulholland Drive
  • Jackie Brown
  • My Cousin Vinny

Recent activity

  • Wolfwalkers

  • Columbus

  • May December

  • The Ring

Pinned reviews

  • Forgetting Sarah Marshall

    Forgetting Sarah Marshall

    I didn't watch this movie again today, but I'm logging it just because I wanted to write this down.

    I didn't know anything about this movie when I walked in to it. I hadn't seen a preview for it and didn't know anyone who was in it. I just had a couple of hours to kill between school and work during the summer after it released. I would regularly buy a ticket to a movie at the dollar theater for…

  • Stop Making Sense

    Stop Making Sense

    Y'all go back in time and kill Hitler or whatever. I'm'a go to this show

Recent reviews

  • Wolfwalkers


    Had the most wonderful afternoon snuggling on the couch with my daughter and watching this gorgeous bit of animation. Nothing revolutionary here in terms of story, but love the style and character of the artwork here. My daughter loves wolves, but isn't quite ready for Princess Mononoke yet, so this was ideal subject matter for us. Excellent use of Sean Bean's reputation to buttress the emotional stakes of this movie too.

  • Columbus


    No idea why I decided to dive in to this one tonight, but I chose poorly. Vibes just off here for me. Feels so self-conscious, which leads to this feeling of artifice and pretense that renders this inert, remote, inaccessible to me. I love a walk-and-talk, but these characters didn't speak to me, didn't make me want to walk with them. I liked After Yang fairly well, though I don't remember much about it now, and I wanted to catch…

Popular reviews

  • May December

    May December

    The scene where the daughter is trying on dresses for graduation, and Natalie Portman is mirroring Julianne Moore, and we are watching it all through mirrors, is as good as cinema gets.

    The way Portman says "I like you" after she has the quickest fuck-and-fight with Melton is one of the best line deliveries I've ever heard. Portman is one of the most mercurial actresses, with electric, ecstatic highs and depressing depths. She's as good as she has ever been…

  • Shiva Baby

    Shiva Baby


    Two movies in one day! I'm living a charmed life.

    This is an absolute wall-to-wall banger. All my favorites: driven by character, short run time, excellent writing. We should be drowning in movies like this. No budget needed, no stars, just a bunch of beautiful and talented people making a transcendental piece of modern horror. Maybe the best thing I've watched this year.