Kong: Skull Island

Kong: Skull Island ★★½

2017 Ranked

Revisited because Godzilla and Kong are fighting next month (#TeamGodzilla right here). A horrendously edited mess (the first act in particular is an absolute shitshow) with completely false and unearned emotional beats that very much reeks of hackneyed, committee checklist screenwriting (very much as a response to the undeserved criticisms spewed towards Gareth Edwards’s masterpiece GODZILLA) and production troubles — also worth mentioning that Jordan Vogt-Roberts is an absolute shithead who is also allegedly a sexual predator — but I really love how batshit and nihilistic this is, even if it does its cast completely dirty (Tom Hiddleston in particular is absolutely awful with zero screen presence and could’ve been completely removed from the film without changing a damn thing), with Samuel L. Jackson being the only one who can really make something out of the material. Many people complained about the characters in GODZILLA, but the difference is that it worked thematically; to quote David Ehrlich, “the perils of human egocentrism in the face of global crisis = the entire point.” GODZILLA was ultimately a film about animal cruelty and human insignificance, so the thin characters worked within the narrative’s favor thematically. With Kong: Skull Island, however, other than maybe Samuel L. Jackson’s character, all of the characters ultimately feel entirely useless here, both narratively and thematically. That said, the monster fights are fun and it mostly looks nice visually, but anyone who thinks this film has anything on GODZILLA is out of their damn mind. Larry Fong MVP. Brie Larson please marry me.

Anyway, yeah, sure. It’s fine, whatever. GODZILLA aside though, the MonsterVerse has been quite disappointing so far. Really, really hope Adam Wingard can deliver the goods.

And that Metal Gear Solid movie JVR is directing is absolutely going to suck ass btw.

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