Hook ★★★★★

So, after talking about The Month of Spielberg with Arielrocks5 I was really craving some Spielberg. So I went to one of my all time favorite guilty pleasures: Hook. This film (and Jurassic Park) was technically my introduction to Spielberg, and it holds very close to my heart.

5 Stars! It must be like really, really good... right? Well, to me, it holds nostalgic merit. I don't expect it to blow anybodies mind in today's society. And technically, It's Spielberg's worst movie (30% on rotten). So if you hate Hook, I understand (but I might not like you anymore). But I love it anyway.

It's hard to explain why I love this film so much...
It's probably the weird adult-y child humor:

Rufio: Boil-dripping beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt!
Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ca-ca mouth, you know that?
Rufio: You are fart factory, slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher.
Lost Boy: Come on, Rufio, hit him back.
Rufio: Mung tongue.
Peter Banning: Math tutor.
Rufio: Pinhead.
Peter Banning: Prison barber.
Rufio: Mother lover.
Peter Banning: Nearsighted gynecologist.
Rufio: In your face, camel cake!
Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derrière.
Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig.
Peter Banning: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.
Thud Butt: Bangarang, Peter!
Rufio: You... you man! Stupid, stupid man!
Peter Banning: Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger why don't you just eat me! You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!
Don't Ask: What's a paramecium brain?
Peter Banning: I'll tell you what a paramecium is! That's a paramecium! It's a one-celled critter with no brain, that can't fly! Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!

The Music:
John Williams is literally a GOD. ^ This only plays in one part of the movie, and it's LIFE. I can listen to it anytime, anywhere.

And finally, the Production Design! Yes, the one thing that fucked the movie over is one of my favorite parts of the film. Why? Because we don't see sets anymore. There's no physicality anymore. There's no love of environment anymore. This film gives us old school filmmaking back. And it's so nostalgic and great.

And that's why I love Hook. Sure it's cheesy as hell (like really stringy, cheese), and really sappy (sappier than pine), and at times even cringey (oh, no!). But it's always, all worth it.

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