One star might be harsh, because it's not an actively boring film, so not a slog to get through, but it answers the question: what does Uncharted set out to do, and what does it actually achieve? The answers are, respectively: nothing, and nothing.
I'm not going to dismiss games as artless or without meaning. That said, you can more easily forgive a game for, say, an uninspiring story, unremarkable characters, being thematically hollow if the gameplay is good. In…
I think as well as the living off the land thing, and the having to enact and encounter brutal violence thing, and that I'd have to have any sort of physical strength thing, what would make me the shittest viking would be the animal noise stuff. I wouldn't be able to get into it. "You're a bear wolf!" "I'm not, I'm not going to roar, it's too weird. You can if you want! I'm fine though."
Anyway: pretty good stuff…
Does some pretty ordinary plotting matter when the stunts and action choreography are this good? Evidently not!
Chrussy
ETA:
As a joke, because she went to Catholic schools in the 60s and early 70s with horrid Irish nuns, so is interested in nun-related media, I hold my mother "oh I saw a movie about nuns the other day!"
So now on top of all the other problems in my life I have to figure out how to stop my mum from watching Benedetta.
Halloween 5 was followed by Nightmare 6 (Freddy’s dead) then by Friday 9 (Jason Goes to Hell) and all three threw in a bunch of extra mythology in those entries. Halloween has… weird cult shit that was mostly cut, and a psychic connection between Myers and his niece; this and Freddy’s dead have heretofore unknown family members who are key to the defeat of the villains. Also there’s a mystical dagger in this one, which: sure. Introduce a mystical dagger to the proceedings.
It’s all pretty silly and unnecessary!
Decent! Make more superhero movies that are pieces of genre filmmaking rather than just another entry in a series with fan service bullshit thrown in! (There is still some fan service bullshit, don’t get me wrong.)
I have made a habit of watching a Dentist film every time I have a wisdom tooth extraction. Thankfully I am out of both wisdom teeth and Dentist films.
The most convoluted entry, which is saying something, with Kruger at his least intimidating and most quippy, which is also saying something, but nonetheless, it delivers was these silly films should. It also has as an on-the-nose 3D section, and a Nintendo Power Glove reference???????
These are both positives.
The Roseanne Barr appearance is the scariest thing here.
Ambulance makes more sense politically after seeing this. Bay has, at once, a very, very deep love of The Cops and The Troops but a deep mistrust of American authority. Even though.... police and military are used to enforce American authority. It's best not to overthink it; Bay certainly doesn't.
Any, fun 90s action (though my favourite kind of 90s film is and will always be the Problematic Sex Thriller) that has a brief sojourn, for some reason, into a Donkey Kong Country mine cart level at one point.