Scumbalina Pro

Pruning this blog before it goes to seed.

Favorite films

  • Systems Research
  • Where Is the Friend's House?
  • After Last Season
  • Tender Mercies

Recent activity

  • Edgar Allan Poe's Madhouse


  • Nigel the Psychopath


  • Rot


  • Jennifer's Body


Pinned reviews

  • The Black Cat

    The Black Cat


    You should always trust the dreams you have during a psychic bubble witch movie set apocalypse. These colors don't run, except they do. Green scuzzfuck witch slime from mouth to mouth, open wide and eat my witch puke. Levana's murder set pieces in rainbow black darklight. Let me tell you about baby. Baby is perfectly sedate. baby knows it's fate. My baby is a witch boy. Actress, Model, Dancer - these are the desired occupations of a sleeping witch, of a third mother. And with more glowy maternal confusion, a trilogy is closed. Fuck the Mother of Tears. Cozzi got it a right.

  • Messiah of Evil

    Messiah of Evil


    Velvet Vampire goes Pop Shopping. Too drunk on red vodka cocktails to know it's a zombie movie. What's a zombie movie? figures in the landscape, where the beach is one endless oil painting and Dad's paint cool murals all over the beach house walls. This movie is made out of cinnabar and jade women who shop at supermarkets during the Anti-Christ apocalypse. Dawn of the Dead walking along the beach at night, holding hands with Jean Rollin.

Recent reviews

  • Rot



    Succeeds at completely grossing me out. Great scenester style SOV time capsule and also weirdly accurate and denigrating toward crust punks. Like it FEELS disgusting to watch, the couple in the film are so grimy, the world within the film is in fact rotting but unfortunately it's shot like dog shit and runs 20 minutes past it's prime. No light, camera kind of drifts off of the person speaking, backlighting, audio problems. What's good gets swallowed by technical difficulties and…

  • Leona Helmsley: The Queen of Mean

    Leona Helmsley: The Queen of Mean


    This made for TV movie should be held in as high regard as Mommie Dearest. I had no idea who Leona Helmsley was but after Suzanne Pleshette's performance, I'll never forget her. Shameless gold-digger, the the film doesn't hold back in showing you the kind of person Leona was. Evil in casual, oblivious, petty ways. She gave her own mother the ick. All carried by the incredible, stunning Suzanne Pleshette, a dream of an actress. This sort of performance is…

Popular reviews

  • I Know What You Did Last Summer

    I Know What You Did Last Summer


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I've seen this movie many times but not until this most recent viewing did I realize that Sarah Michelle Gellar is a beam of light, like a sunflower, an angel, a Precious Moment. A perfume counter girl with high-waisted denim shorts and cigarette affixed silver fingernails. Her chase scene is poetry in motion. The death of a beauty queen, tragic like an Opera. She runs and she runs. She breaks glass, she crawls out of a car window belly down,…

  • Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

    Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown


    This was my introduction to Almodovar and is my forever favorite.

    When I first saw this film I would soon be entering the last echelon of my marriage. I didn't know it at the time but soon he would cheat, and I would catch him. I would have what I later realized was a nervous breakdown, and I would quit my job, digging us even deeper into poverty. I would lose forty pounds because I couldn't afford drugs or alcohol…