James (Schaffrillas)

James (Schaffrillas)

Patron

I talk about the giant shiny coconut crab from Moana for a living

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  • The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    The Mitchells vs. The Machines

    WHY IS SONY PICTURES ANIMATION SO GOOD AT MAKING MOVIES NOW

  • Mulan

    Mulan

    Fucking worthless. It strips the original film of nearly everything that made it special, but forgets to add anything worthwhile as a substitute. It is inferior to the original in literally every respect. If that's not enough, it also contains the most fucking abysmal editing I've ever seen in a major motion picture. I'm baffled that Disney considered this theater-worthy for the longest time, and doubly insulted that they have the gall to charge $30 for such an irredeemably awful pile of garbage. A new low for the Disney live-action remakes.

    But at least it's better than Artemis Fowl.