Bullet Train

Bullet Train ★★★½

Allow me to walk you through my perfect evening. It’s a Tuesday night. $5 movie Tuesday. You shower, shampoo and deep condition your hair. You put on your comfiest clothes, moisturize your face, apply lip balm and lotion. You get to the theater with your hair still ever so slightly damp (this is crucial). You order sweet potato fries, extra side of ranch. You recline back, and experience sexy sexy Brad Pitt, Aaron Taylor Johnson, Logan Lerman, Brian Tyree Henry for 2 hours and 8 blissful minutes. You rest your eyes when Joey King is on the screen. It’s as if she isn’t even there and only the hottest men you’ve ever seen and Zazie Beetz are on that train. Life is fucking grand.

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