• Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

    Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

    ★★★

    Prior to the release of this movie we had two otherworldly experiences and one major misstep. Yes, I have never cared for Return of The Jedi. Luke standing up to the emperor is the only significant moment. Anyway, the most beloved and acclaimed series returns in 1999 and this is the point where the leading artistic direction is: let’s make Star Wars seem like we put it all together on bath salts. 

    This series has been around for 45 years.…

  • Star Wars

    Star Wars

    ★★★★★

    In 1977, Star Wars is every reason cinema existed. This movie is so good you believe Mark Hamill is a good actor. 

    By 1997-2022 you have to be as ignorant to the saga as anyone in 77 was cuz you’re just retroactively trying to piece together the logic of how these characters are all related as opposed to immersing yourself into a journey in a galaxy far far away. It’s a shame because Star Wars is as close to space travel the majority of us will ever experience.

  • The Batman

    The Batman

    ★★½

    You’re out of your fucking mind if you think this is a brilliant film. 

    Here’s how they made this movie: 

    Someone said, hey let’s give David Fincher a giant blowjob, christ even the last shot and ending are the exact same as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. 

    Then someone said, Paul Dano is really good in There Will be Blood and Prisoners, so let’s do that too. 

    And then we’ll just do half baked topical political ideas, you know…

  • Shame

    Shame

    ★★★★★

    I first saw Shame in the spring of 2012 and was disappointed. In the spring of 2022 I’m reflecting on how this work has stayed with me despite my initial judgement. I’ve maybe seen it four times over the decade and each viewing presented a unique brilliance unseen in previous ones. Shame has haunted me in a good way- it’s cinema at its most magical. Idk if you’re supposed to gather that Fassbender’s Brandon is a monster, but goddamnit Fassbender’s…

  • I Am Easy to Find

    I Am Easy to Find

    ★★★½

    Alicia Vikander is pure movie magic. I only want to watch work like this that isn’t what non-artists want.

  • Nightmare Alley

    Nightmare Alley

    ★★★

    Guillermo del Toro and Tim Burton are both the cinematic version of going to Target. Burton is the children’s clothes section where you can buy a Pokémon t-shirt. del Toro is the adult clothing section where you can buy a Pokémon graphic tee. 

    This film is bookended by a marvelous and evocative opening shot and a sinisterly magical closing shot. The opening is all simple visual storytelling. The close is cinema’s greatest special effect: a brilliant actor and their face…

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    This movie succeeds in its sole function, making money. If social media were a movie this would be it. Every tick of this movie serves in reference to something that came before it, and I guess that makes the audience feel smart or something. But this is the ultimate example of what the Marvel movies always were, long bright advertisements for something else. And after you watch it, you can go on YouTube and watch an endless ocean of content…

  • Dune

    Dune

    Very much taken and consumed by this. Mesmerizing. Never once felt like 2.5 hours and I could have easily gone on watching another 3. This piece was a legit surprise and it almost wants to make me read the book.

  • West Side Story

    West Side Story

    ★★½

    This is not a movie. I’m not saying it’s good or bad either. The only reason I gave it a star rating is because if film is supposed to be a visual experience then I admit I could not take my eyes off of Rachel Zegler. Ladies, I’m sorry that Elgort is what you’re supposed to look at.

  • Licorice Pizza

    Licorice Pizza

    ★★★★★

    Like a really long really wonderful episode of The Wonder Years. 

    Surprise surprise, PTA is the GOAT. I hope he wins the screenplay academy award. This looks like a film. Something beautiful lost in the last 20 years. A Cinematic explosion. The cast here is fantastic and charismatic. If look you closely enough at Cooper Hoffman’s performance, you’ll see his father- and that makes it all the more magical.

  • The Last Days of Knight

    The Last Days of Knight

    ★★★

    The irony is, CNN the organization is as big of a piece of shit as Bobby Knight. 

    I’m not sure if an end justifies the means in any situation where you need winning results. Maybe theres a place in time and history for the BKs.

    Sure Hoosiers were champions and a community made it their religion. Is it possible to lead an innovative, winning team without losing a sense of humanity in the process? Can a community not turn everything…

  • Billy Jack

    Billy Jack

    ★★½

    I honestly don’t know which Billy Jack movie I saw. It was either this one or Born Losers. I think it was this one. What a fascinating and ridiculous series to read about. If this is the one where he trips balls in a cave then it’s the one I saw.