• The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl



    No, I don't know what this is; No, I don't how to analyse and assess this film. No, I don't hate it. Yes, I will compare this to an acid trip.

    What in the sweet hell.

  • Mission: Impossible II

    Mission: Impossible II



    Yeah, it's objectively not great... But have you ever really had as much fun as trying to keep up with Cruise's insanity in this film, and the numerous mask switch and baits? I doubt it.

  • The Greatest Show on Earth

    The Greatest Show on Earth


    The Best Picture Project: #4


    Heavy with self-serving spectacle and melodrama, it's not hard to see why THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH has earned a reputation as one of the lesser Best Picture winners. Objectively one of the worst made winners in Oscar history, it finds subjective merit in- despite it's overlong nature and iffy pacing- genuinely finding something within it's combination of circus and character. It's nothing great, and it would be forgotten about had it not…

  • Mission: Impossible

    Mission: Impossible


    De Palma's direction is so off the charts great, and the tension in these set pieces is something we desperately need more of in the genre... If only this incredibly convoluted central mystery hit the same way as it's thrills. Still highly watchable, however, and the entirety of it's first act is a masterpiece that stands on it's own.

  • To All the Boys: Always and Forever

    To All the Boys: Always and Forever


    It's still chasing the simplicity and heights that the original film had, but TO ALL THE BOYS: ALWAYS AND FOREVER is about as charming and sincere a third film as one can hope for. A fantastic soundtrack, the continued (perfect) pairing of Condor and Centineo, and storylines that feel genuinely honest and relatable, the film might suffer from it's excessive runtime and imperfect balance of all of it's story threads, but it's as messy as the love it presents while still being as transcendant as it at the same time. A wonderful threequel.

  • To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You

    To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You


    The switch from a female to male director is VERY apparent, and very rarely for the best- although there is some great visual style on display here. However, it's hard not to still be won over by Lana Condor and the pure charm of this world. Bring on the third film!

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire

    Portrait of a Lady on Fire



    Celine Sciamma refers to this movie as a "manifesto about the female gaze". Of course, she's right.
    I refer to this movie as the greatest of all time. Of course, I'm right.

    An exceptional deconstruction of the themes of loss and memory, and how they serve each other in ways that both fulfill and upset. Constantly yearning for serenity in it's own visual poetry, and able to draw humanity from every corner of it's diegetic landscape. The perfect movie.

  • To All the Boys I've Loved Before

    To All the Boys I've Loved Before



    Bizzarely holds up, five years later, as one of the best romantic comedies of the modern film era. It pretty much lands every beat you expect it to, and want it to, with absolute perfect accuracy and charm. It's actually a magic trick of winning you over with everything you try not to be charmed by. Condor and Centineo are such a perfect screen couple.

  • Scream VI

    Scream VI


    Brace yourselves, we've got a success on our hands; SCREAM VI tries to update the franchise in new ways while staying true to the formula that works, and manages to pull off a remarkable trick of constant subversion and audience engagement. A film born for the experience of pointing at the characters and gasping at the many shocks of who kills and who is killed, the dialogue is as fun as ever, the kills are the best they've ever been, and the visual aesthetic is a new high for the franchise. Constant fun, and potentially on track to be the most rewatchable horror film of 2023.

  • Scream



    It takes a second to adjust to a story in this universe without Craven's signature touch, but SCREAM (5) really settles into being one hell of a ride as it moves into it's second act. Bolstered by an opening that reminds us why this franchise is the king of cold opens, and a third act that grips you beyond belief, you slowly find yourself absorbed into an installment that feels more brutal and driven by emotional stakes than any before…

  • Scream 4

    Scream 4


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Colour me surprised by just how much of a step up this is over the previous sequels in the franchise, but SCREAM 4 is an insane riot. Consistently fun, and fuelled by a real sense of unpredictability, Craven updates his own franchise with a meta edge that doubles down on the self-reflexivity in all the right ways, with none of the painful smugness found in 2 or 3. A victory lap for it's characters that is only further elevated by…

  • Scream 3

    Scream 3



    "He was making a movie called Stab. He was stabbed."

    SCREAM 3 isn't without some moments of Craven goodness, and it's actually better as a comedy than it's immediate predecessor. However, the camp factor being turned up to 11 is a death knell that keeps ringing out, and some illogical character choices just keep this thing down. It works as an acceptable piece of popcorn entertainment, and it's final shot is a very touching one to end on, but the drop off in quality between each installment is insane.