• Pro-Life

    Pro-Life

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    the writers of f.a.r.t.: the movie present a Current and Meaningful horror yarn that winds up being the schlockiest work in jc's filmography: a demonic hospital drama ripped from the headlines of prince of darkness. simultaneously overwrought and drone-y, the film is well aware of the inflammatory nature of its subject and thus something inevitably rumbles beneath the exploitation surface, ready to burst forth in a reveal that never actually comes. it's far from centrist β€” about as centrist as…

  • The V Word

    The V Word

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    inky black interiors close in on all sides in this bummer millennial teen death trip. the truest cinematic representation of YA horror lit that's too nasty, too subsumed by its own bleak view to exist as anything but bottom-of-the-barrel high school pulp, which is really where it's most comfortable, anyway. equal parts fright night (or maybe cirque du freak) and van sant's paranoid park. feels like it pioneered tyler, the creator's vibe in 2011, right down to the homoeroticism you could cut with a scalpel.

  • Benedetta

    Benedetta

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    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    a lot of people are just going to talk about the more lurid aspects on display here, like jesus' melee skills, or the virgin mary dildo, but that would mean overlooking the more crucial aspects of this film. yes, the poster is largely what drew me in to seeing it, so I'm not pretending to be a saint, either. good head for the first time can very much be a religious experience, and that's very much part of the point…

  • Imprint

    Imprint

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    fall vibes πŸ₯°πŸ‚πŸ¦ƒπŸ“πŸ–οΈβ˜•πŸβœοΈπŸ‘ΆπŸ‘οΈ

  • Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

    Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

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    this movie is halloween store merch covered in soot; a synthesis of scuzz and a total lack of texture that feels disarmingly personal in an agoraphobic mall goth kind of way, in which faux-distressed polyester and plastic endure regular damage they were not intended to withstand. this means nothing to other people but that’s why this exact brand of insular millennial angst resonates so strongly with me. that the total embodiment of chaotic evil is a raccoon-eyed teen goth feels…

  • Jennifer's Body

    Jennifer's Body

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    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    sometimes it's a "projectile vomiting bisexual teen murderesses assault orderlies and break out of prison through a chain link fence" kind of week.

  • Dave Chappelle: The Closer

    Dave Chappelle: The Closer

    if your stance on my existence is "I don't see you as a real woman but let your freak flag fly!" then please, for the love of god, save it. just fucking hatecrime me and spare me your condescension. call me a slur. idgaf.

    yeah, I know. this is another dave chappelle review.

    the internet grants us all the privilege of more or less being taken at face value. I can use whatever username I want and refer to myself…

  • Malignant

    Malignant

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    motherfuckers will really use he/him pronouns for the nodular embodiment of the devil and still misgender me at the grocery store.

  • The Cell

    The Cell

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    visions of incarceration, domination; restorative justice beyond in a world of barren wastelands peppered with cops, generic billionaire-funded sci-fi labs, mental stigmatization: the imperfect path we wage toward an end.

    attacked by the algorithm but living in it anyway. because where else is there to go?

    kill the cop in your head. FREE PD187.

    love y'all. hmu other places. (links in my bio.) my account may not be allowed here much longer <3

  • Unknown

    Unknown

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    like an inverse blow out where everything you initially believe ends up being confirmed in ways you didn’t expect. also it’s boring.

  • Let Me In

    Let Me In

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    fun fact: rubik’s cube sales went down when this movie was released because these children make it look like such a joyless game.

  • Carrie

    Carrie

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    21st century of muted emotions muted colors β€” JUST CALM DOWN. you feel nothing this go around when carrie finally confronts her mom and it’s no failing on our part, nor the movie’s part (least of all the brilliant moretz and moore). loved that the prom aesthetics look like the most basic 2010s indie shit possible. vibes are good in these sorts of horror movies when every character is clearly gay. glad the tuxedo-trying-on scene was kept.