Quintin’s review published on Letterboxd:
I wanted to rewatch this movie when it was finally available for rent because I want to see if the film is as bad as I remember or if it was just the constant yelling from my audience that tampered my experience.
I am sadly reporting that I thought the movie was even worse on a rewatch, I actually missed the audience yelling because without it, there was just dead air over multiple moments. Which is the core issue of this movie, it wasn't made with any artistic intention, it was made for mass medium consumption. I understand how pretentious this sounds but let's compare this to other MCU movies. Guardians of the Galaxy took a crew no one heard of and inserted them into a music and stylistic flare. Iron Man 3 took an iconic villain and turned it into a red herring. I took an example of the greatest and worst MCU decisions because Spiderman No Way Home is the opposite of that. I don't see a single chance this movie took, I don't see a single creative decision in this movie. Every second of this film feels like five old white guys sitting in a room trying to predict what people will like to see. Clearly they succeeded. This is one of the most successful films ever made. Despite the visual effects being terrible, despite the story lacking any thought or originality, and despite how many brilliant films came out in the last few months: the 150 minute Spiderman Greatest Hits is the film that stole everyone's hearts. I have no doubt Dr Strange and Jurassic World will continue this trend of baited nostalgia over the next few months. For some this is great news and for people like me this is frustrating because we just want more creative blockbusters.
This movie is probably one star in my mind but I am bumping it up to two stars for Andrew Garfield. Every moment, every joke, and every scene was slightly more exciting when he was involved. Garfield was actually better on a rewatch, it's such a shame he was in the three worst Spiderman movies.