PTAbro has written 4 reviews for films rated .

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    Colin Trevorrow hates you.

    He hates that you'll lap up any shit that Hollywood spits out and break box office records in the process. He hates that you don't give a shit about filmic legacies and regurgitated (sometimes shot-for-shot) scenes that neither hold a candle to the original or are purposely derisive to it. He hates that you'll take any non-sensical, lazy plot and keep coming back, even after being burned so many times before. He hates you so much…

  • 4:44 Last Day on Earth

    4:44 Last Day on Earth

    Once I adjusted to Mr. Ferrara's bizarre and abrasive rhythm about 30 minutes in, I actually enjoyed the scenes that Shanyn Leigh didn't taint with her Tommy Wiseau impression. Unfortunately, that only accounted for about 20% of the picture. I'm going to need to watch the far less challenging but infinitely more satisfying Last Night a few times to get the taste of this one out of my mouth.

  • The Alphabet Killer

    The Alphabet Killer

    I'm fairly certain everyone has an idealized image a truly terrible movie to give all other films' awfulness or greatness a point of reference. For me, it used to be, "Welp, at least I didn't just watch a morbidly obese man work his way down a line of homeless people, methodically squatting and defecating on each of their chests while strangling kittens to death, scored to monotonous Gregorian chants, and periodically interrupted by random bible-verse intertitles for an hour and…

  • Safety Not Guaranteed

    Safety Not Guaranteed

    There is a moment in Safety Not Guaranteed where Aubrey Plaza's quirky character asks Mark Duplass' even quirkier character, "Is that a guitar?" while sitting in front of a campfire after a romantic day of mutual quirkiness. Jaw agape, knowing exactly what was about to happen, I had to pause the movie and consider whether everything up to this point had been trying to make some kind of ironic statement about the romcom genre. Sadly, by the end, I realized…