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  • Mystics in Bali

    Mystics in Bali

    ★★★★

    And in today's story of “What the fuck did you think was gonna happen when you go to Indonesia and mess with black magic, you dumb American tourist”, Mystics in Bali! What a wild one!

    Cackling old witch sorcery going down in the woods, bodies transforming into plopped out pig-faced monstrosities, electrical tongues sipping up some sweet sweet blood, and vampire fanged heads being torn out guts 'n' all, sucking fresh babies straight outta the womb! Crazy. I love the…

  • Lady Terminator

    Lady Terminator

    ★★★★

    We've seen more dead bodies than you've eaten hot dogs!”

    Well let's see, I'm about three minutes into the movie and already this “South Sea Queen” has had her vagina snake(!) bite off a dude's junk in a violent burst of blood. And then while getting it on with another guy, he grasps her snake turning it into a magical dagger(!?) which locks her away under the sea for a hundred years, as she vows revenge against his great granddaughter…

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  • A... For Assassin

    A... For Assassin

    ★★★

    One dead body, seven scumbags waiting for an inheritance, but only three will benefit... if they survive to the end of the month! This was alright. It leans heavily into some Agatha Christie/reading of the will/murder mystery vibes, but has plenty of devious characters backstabbing each other constantly, and lots of villainous little twists that make the whole package feel pretty satisfying. Not bad.

  • The Last Horror Film

    The Last Horror Film

    ★★★★

    Joe Spinell's schlubby, sweaty, and downright sticky stalker energy is like no other man. One minute he's frightening as hell, obsessing over his unwilling star-to-be, mumbling mad ramblings, and the next minute he's on the phone blubbering to Mama and you just want to give the poor thing a hug. A much more sympathetic character than in Maniac, but with all the uncomfortable vibes that go along with it. Nobody could tap unhinged lunacy quite like Joe.

    And what a…

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  • Basket Case

    Basket Case

    ★★★★★

    I just had to give the original a rewatch before finally diving into the two unseen sequels, and yeah, it's just as perfectly grotesque and nightmarishly odd as it was the first time I saw it on VHS so many moons ago! Love it!

    Everything about this freakshow sets my nerves a-buzzin'. From the seedy Hotel Broslin suite full of so many NYC sleazeballs, to the onslaught of face rippin', neck suckin', blood spewin' gore. The random dreams of running…

  • Basket Case 3

    Basket Case 3

    ★★★★

    Three movies deep... what better time for a ROADTRIP! Belial and Eve have a whole host of puppy demons on the way (and thanks for opening the movie with that scene again, haha), so it's time to pack up the beasts and go visit some doctor friend of the family, while some crooked cops meddle into the whole stinkin' affair.

    The story is kind of all over the place compared to the last film, but still so much fun to…