Favorite films

  • The Godfather
  • 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • There Will Be Blood
  • Synecdoche, New York

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  • Batman XXX: A Porn Parody

  • Mercury Rising

    ★½

  • Malignant

    ★★★

  • The Lair of the White Worm

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Batman XXX: A Porn Parody

    Batman XXX: A Porn Parody

    It’d be nice if James Deen wasn’t an allegedly abusive rapist for every reason…but only pertinent to this movie, because he’s the only even marginally attractive male in the cast.

    I watched this to participate in a friend’s Batman podcast and I did SUCH a bad job that I don’t think he even released the episode! You’ve been spared the potential DP!

  • Mercury Rising

    Mercury Rising

    What was this movie trying to do?!

    It’s an actionless action movie, a thrillless thriller, a toothless cop drama, etc…

    Bruce Willis isn’t really ever a “good actor” (I am STILL angry after finding out he had an earpiece feeding him lines during his Broadway run of Misery, while, in contrast, Laurie Metcalf made a four course meal out of the entire stage) but this flick is so devoid of any intrigue that he just ends up lifelessly coasting through…

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  • Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

    ★★★★

    Welcome back to forward progress to the big screen!

    Covid allowed for tv to take the reigns of the direction of the MCU while Spidey tied up the last phase and Black Widow took us back to a simpler time before phrase “aww snap” was more cringy than terrifying.

    Shang-Chi gives us an origin story, sure, but it’s rooted in such pathos, that even when the stakes are raised to cosmic, and otherworldly fantastic heights, the story remains relevant, poignant,…

  • Cruella

    Cruella

    ★★★★

    I don’t know why I feel the need to compare this to Joker…but…I do what I want.

    A much more engaging irredeemable villain origin story.

    The cracks in the facade were wide but the whole picture was so captivating that I didn’t care!