• Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★½

    Malignant's Gabriel could've been one of X-Files best monsters of the week but instead of Dana Scully in a power suit telling Mulder the monster that is about to kidnap her doesnt exist we get bland frightened woman #9,957 and some pretty uninspired writing/directing from James Wan.

    Has he lost his touch? Has he run out of tricks? Probably not. But this is by far his least scary not to mention ugliest looking film since his immediate post-Saw days.

    This…

  • Candyman

    Candyman

    ★★

    To say Candyman was a disappointment implies it deserved to be taken seriously at all, which would be true for most horror remakes. But interestingly, the original Candyman actually deserves to have a bit of a cultural reimagining of it's own; a kind of ungentrifying of sorts that aims to leave the amazing Tony Todd horror character in the hands of people who might have a better understanding of generational trauma and its impact on storytelling, art and deification.

    That's…

  • Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

    Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

    ★★★½

    It's so close to being the best Friday film that its actually kind of sad.

    Through very little fault of it's own, the 7th installment attempts to breathe new life into the franchise but is brought down heavily by rushed editing and a sweeping removal of nearly all the violence in the film. We know this is the case because there are about a dozen deleted scenes from the film and almost all of them are extended kills and gore…

  • Friday the 13th Part 2

    Friday the 13th Part 2

    ★★

    Part 2 went quickly into production after the success of Friday the 13th and while it botched so many things, it does at the very least take the series into a more compelling direction even if it makes no sense whatsoever.

    Most importantly, Jason is now the killer. How? Well, it's better to ignore that or just come up with your own conclusions but no, the film has to explicitly state Jason actually survived drowning, lived in the woods as…

  • Friday the 13th

    Friday the 13th

    ★★½

    It's a rarity that the first entry in a series is one of the weaker ones, but Friday the 13th has very little going for it.

    Apart from a very sinful pair of breasts, the original Halloween was mostly a classy, suspenseful film that ratcheted the tension scene by scene as good as any film possibly can with a $300,000 budget and no stars. Sean Cunningham isnt shy about Friday the 13th being made to swim in the wake of…

  • Zodiac

    Zodiac

    I was about halfway through Robert Graysmiths Zodiac novel when I broke down and had to watch Finchers film. I've lost track of how many times I've seen this film but like any good mystery, especially mysteries so emblematic of a certain time or place, you always find yourself wanting to go back.

    No one was ever brought to justice for the Zodiac murders. Families didnt get closure. Victims didnt get to rest peacefully. The closest weve come to closure…

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★★

    Uncut Gems begins with a Jacques Cousteau-esque voyage inside a diamond or mineral as it would look under an electron microscope. Vast caverns of crystalline structures pulse to the Oneohtrix Point Never beat and in one bold stroke the eternal, infinite, and boundless beauty of one of Earths precious minerals fades into a shot of a colonoscopy video feed being performed on Adam Sandler.

    I dont want to outright say that this fade is reminiscent of the famous 2001 jump…

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    ★★★★★

    QT's determination to climb the auteur mountain, and possibly die on its peak as one of the last, truly successful """film makers""" existing within the Hollywood apparatus has always been a fascinating journey to me. The man himself, that nervous ball of energy that can name every Sergio Corbucci spaghetti western between 1972-1978 and who also always seems to be on the verge of saying or doing something that would end his career, (think the Weinstein connection, his divisive interviews,…

  • The Shining

    The Shining

    ★★★★★

    Winter just refuses to go away here in Missouri. We bounce between weekends with 60+ degree highs and days with 7 inches of snowfall. Just as the snow is finally starting to melt on the ground I hear next week is going to rear another small winter storm....

    That's not the only thing weighing on my mind right now though.

    On one of those snowy nights last week (or was it a month ago?) I decided to revisit a film…

  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

    ★★★★★

    At the time probably one of the most repulsive and creatively bankrupt sequel attempts in film history, I think TCM2 can now be looked at in an entirely new light within a reboot/sequel/MCU populated cinematic landscape thats reigned over by the monolithic visage of the Mickey Mouse Corporation.

    On a thematic level I could describe this film as simply observing the psycho-sexual tendencies of the original again, but this time in a neon lit Fellini-esque carnival of raw flesh, carcasses,…

  • Cold Pursuit

    Cold Pursuit

    ★★★★

    "Greatest Broncos Quarterback of all time: Elway or Manning?"
    "....Elway?"
    *nods head*
    *blows a hole in the goons chest with a sawed off sniper rifle*

    Without a doubt this is the best genre film of its type ever made; that is, the Liam Neeson Vehicular Related Action Genre vs. The Liam Neeson Revenge Genre. It's basically a unique mashup of the two, and a surprisingly wild ride.

    Based on a Scandinavian film and remade by the same director, Cold Pursuit

  • Bad Times at the El Royale

    Bad Times at the El Royale

    ★★★½

    Some takeaways here

    1. Dakota Johnson is becoming less and less awful with each passing film she doesnt have to get bound and spanked by a low grade tv actor. This is great news. I really like her.

    2. John Hamm and Chris Hemsworth shouldve switched roles. It's hard to go into detail why without spoilers but basically they both played the parts fine but I think a role reversal would've played to their strengths more. I feel like the…