Massacre in Dinosaur Valley

Massacre in Dinosaur Valley ★★★

One of the things I love most about Italian genre films is that the idea of "more is better" is not quite good enough; "most is better" is, well, better. Why settle for a few tropes when 88 minutes is clearly enough time for all the tropes! Let me give you an example of the pure plethora of jungle-adventure treats this film has in store for you:

- Cool handsome hero with a shotgun
- Models doing jungle photo shoot
- Cock fighting
- Hero getting beat up in a charming way
- Out of nowhere sex scene
- Shower boobies
- Ugly loud drunk lady
- Wild plane crash
- Vietnam vet asshole
- Leeches
- Eating Leeches
- Anaconda
- Splayed legs and wet blouses
- Piranha eating a leg to the bone
- Waterfall slide
- Crocodile danger
- Quicksand
- Blow gun dart death
- Angry natives
- Ripping out a human heart
- More full frontal nudity
- Topless native women in the mix
- Ritual killing
- Priest wearing a Triceratops skull
- Natives getting shotgun blasted
- Running naked through jungle
- Evil diamond miners
- Time for more breasts
- Lesbian sex
- Rape sex
- Rambo hero time
- Rattlesnake surprise
- Explosions
- Helicopter escape
- And more....

If any of that sounds good, and how could it not, give this a watch, it's pretty freaking amazing. I can guarantee you, you won't be bored and that whatever amount of boobs you think might be in a movie like this, you're not thinking enough.

You're still not thinking enough. It's more.

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