Patrick has written 96 reviews for films rated ★★½ .

  • Minions

    Minions

    ★★½

    This is the first Minion-related thing I’ve ever watched so here’s my take:

    -the human supervillain stuff? Boring, don’t care

    -the giant horde of like a hundred minions? Too many, not interested

    -the three main minions bumbling around and trying to figure out human society? Actually pretty funny and charming, feels like a silly French cartoon 

    In conclusion, did not hate this

  • Invasion U.S.A.

    Invasion U.S.A.

    ★★½

    Honestly a pretty poorly-planned invasion. They want to take down America so they blow up a shopping mall and one suburban street in Florida?

  • White Nights

    White Nights

    ★★½

    Watching the trailer I got excited that Baryshnikov and Hines were going to do some Gymkata-esque dance-fighting but sadly I was mistaken

  • Weird Science

    Weird Science

    ★★½

    Eight minutes into this movie two teen boys hack into a government power facility. They aren’t even tech geniuses, they just, like, own a computer.

    (not a complaint, just an observation)

  • The Secret of My Success

    The Secret of My Success

    ★★½

    So it turns out the secret of his success is…he fucked his aunt?

  • Masters of the Universe

    Masters of the Universe

    ★★½

    Not to be rude but He-Man seems like kind of a boring guy

  • Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

    Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

    ★★½

    Way weirder and also more confusing than I was expecting

  • The Big Chill

    The Big Chill

    ★★½

    My friends and I are approaching the age of these characters, and on the one hand we’re not as rich and successful, but on the other hand I guarantee we are more fun to hang out with

  • Thor: Love and Thunder

    Thor: Love and Thunder

    ★★½

    Justice for Lady Sif

  • Jagged Edge

    Jagged Edge

    ★★½

    Absolutely bonkers that a major story beat here is all the characters going “*GASP* He said ‘bitch!’ And the killer said ‘bitch!’ No other person has ever used that word before so he MUST be the killer!”

  • Cha Cha Real Smooth

    Cha Cha Real Smooth

    ★★½

    Leslie Mann definitely one of the great movie moms of the modern era

  • The Gift

    The Gift

    ★★½

    A lot of accents in this one