Patrick has written 9 reviews for films rated ★½ during 2018.

  • The Ottoman Lieutenant

    The Ottoman Lieutenant


    This was the first time I've ever watched a movie and thought, "I wish I was watching Pearl Harbor instead."

  • We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story

    We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story


    Maybe the weirdest fucking movie I've ever seen.

  • Parts Per Billion

    Parts Per Billion


    For the majority of the 98 minutes I spent watching this I mostly thought about how much I wish I was watching CONTAGION instead,

  • Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

    Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith


    Anakin Skywalker in this movie is a Neil Breen protagonist.

  • The Black Dahlia

    The Black Dahlia


    Great director, great source material, very very bad movie

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World


    Everything about this movie sucks other than Jake Johnson

  • Hollywood Homicide

    Hollywood Homicide


    Maybe this movie should be more about Hollywood or homicides and less about Harrison Ford's side career as a real estate broker.

  • Blow Dry

    Blow Dry


    I can't believe I've now seen this shitty movie twice.

  • Showgirls



    It's not good but the "Versace" part is a nice bit of writing.