Favorite films

  • Magnolia
  • Me and You and Everyone We Know
  • Unfaithfully Yours
  • Rachel Getting Married

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  • V/H/S/94

    ★★½

  • Dear Evan Hansen

    ★★½

  • Malignant

    ★★½

  • Don't Breathe 2

    ★★★½

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  • V/H/S/94

    V/H/S/94

    Feels largely indistinguishable from a video you would see in the waiting area at a gimmicky haunted house, except when it feels blatantly lifted from the game Soma. Almost never feels authentically 90s (is it that fucking hard to find an old camera?), and gets stupider the more you think about any part of it, but it also has some excellent gross-out gore, and Ryan Prows’ segment is surprisingly decent, replicating the SOV style without making it feel like a Snapchat filter. You do have to sit through the whole anthology to get to that segment, however, so viewer beware.

  • Dear Evan Hansen

    Dear Evan Hansen

    An objectively bad film in so many ways that it boggles the mind how many viewers are flat-out inventing things to be offended by.

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  • The Wrong Guy

    The Wrong Guy

    ★★★★½

    I don't say this lightly: this is the closest any film has come to replicating the comedic stylings of the Simpsons' golden-age.

  • S1m0ne

    S1m0ne

    Added to my list of hilarious failures that I will bask in forever. Andrew Niccol doesn't understand Hollywood, popular culture, technology, psychology, women, children, or CGI. This list will expand with future viewings.

    Also, if you drank every time someone in the film says Al Pacino's character's name, you would die.